CONVERSATION.

Timaru Herald, Volume XXVIII, Issue 2065, 14 June 1878, Page 5 (Supplement)

CONVERSATION.

(Examiner.) Conversation is the latest flower of cult-tire. It needs, m order to come to anything near perfection, a consensus of inward and outward conditions, the absence of any one of which is fatal. The delicate exchange and alternation which it implies is impossible not only if there is not some parity of value m the thoughts exchanged, but also the fact and art of selection among them. It requires, above all things, a light hand, the power of taking up a subject easily and readily, of holding it not too tightly, of adapting the treatment of it to the interlocutor's need or point of view, of losing it when it has ceased to serve as a mental stimulus, and of taking up another with the same readiness, to be dropped, m its turn, as soon as it has served its purpose. A thorough discussion of a subject is always out of place m a conversation — you want hints, guesses, glimpses, the suggestion of varied points of view, side-lights, the play of fancy and humor, even the ironical treatment of one's own serious interests, all colored by a direct reference to the individual mind to which you are for the moment brought near. To dull natures a good conversationalist always looks inconsistent. His many-sidednes3 seems contradictory ; his instinct and need to be all things to all men has an air of insincerily about it, while m fact it is only a sublimated veracity ; his sense of the relativity of truths and of their multitudinous phases, sides, shapes, and references, wears to the narrow, plodding understanding a look of sophistry and frivolity. The homely wit, which stays where it grew iv its own little plot of eavth, is puzzled at the vagabond instinct which sends other minds soaring and wheeling and circling m search of fresh and distant prospects. There is a trick which at first sight looks like this conversational dexterity, but which is m fact its enemy. The true conversationalist touches lightly on his subject and then passes on, buc he has touched some interesting or characteristic feature m it ; the pseudo-conversational-ist nibbles and pecks at any tag or corner of it which may be for the moment prominent, whether or no the point touched on stands m any vital connection with the whole. While handling a thema easily, it is still possible to put your mind to it. It is also possible, as Dr. Johnson has it, to put your mind fairly to the mind of your companion. And this is just what the pseudo-conversationalists cannot do. They are common among ths men, and still more among the women, who are introduced to one at a party as "Such a remarkably intelligent person ! So much to say on all subjects !" And they certainly have a false air of intelligence, and may originally have started with a good deal of mind. A life incessantly passed m company, without the balancing effects of study and frequent solitude, always betrays itself m this peculiar quality! of the talk, which we notice with most disappointment m those the externals of whose mind, so to speak, give at first sight a promise of intelligence and mental comradeship. And m these two things — intelligence and comradeship — all the higher interest of society lies. The neutral interest m all that appeals to the intellect, and the personal interest of social fellowship, each feeding and supporting the other — personal sympathy forbidding the intellect to be pedantic or absolute, and the intellect giving a ground and a charm to personal sympathy — are the main conditions of conversation at its best. It is true that many other things go to perfect the relation between talkers — manner, appearance, dress, even — to minds sensitive to such influences, as the minds of the best conversationalists often are — the social atmosphere around, the bearing, breeding, and mental altitude of the society m which they happen to find themselves. One pushing, dogmatical interloper can mar not only a tete-a-tete, but the most harmonious assembly of talkers. The fact that there is an eager listener present who takes what is said otherwise than as it is meant, or who will not let a suggestion pass till it has been anatomised into shreds, or who has not the mental quickness and fluency to keep up with the play of talk, who cannot discuss without arguing and cannot argue without wrangling, is quite enough to destroy the ease and serenity without which no conversation can advance freely.