THE COLD WATER CURE.

Timaru Herald, Volume IX, Issue 341, 2 September 1868, Page 6

THE COLD WATER CURE.

Timaru'e a great city— there's no. mistake „. '.m it,—r r , :,...„ -. . Such' mighty improvements .you see, every

minute, That though Christchuroh and Fort may both ■ : try to deride it, They'll very soon find ' themselves nowhere

beside it. ■Such beautiful shops, aud suoh carvings and gildings, . . ; , ,'..■■ Such nicely, formed roads, and such lovely .' stone buildings : . ; . The streets equal London— there's not any ; • , doubt of 'em ; — Or they might if , the tussocks were only cut ' : . out of 'em. ,'. 1 , ' .' They're lectures, aqd. concerts, and balls,,

very often, • ' ' ' ■Where the ladies the heart of a milestone f .-might soften ;;- r .- •v> - ■> . : -t r i They've tea-fights and feasts where they teach , / you gojoa morals* .■■-. ( -.■ - , ■ : . And meetings sometimes of the Tim aruphqrals,; :Whb give' you a concert about an .hour long, , Where you pay at .the rate of a shilling a gong. ; They ye got a 'corps formed— the_ artillery . flying — ■They'd fly quick enough; it's no use denying — For the gent who 's sent .down here .to teach

; the/n their gunning, . „. : --. ' Says . the first shot that's fired will set them > all- running; : . : . ..... Though the- nursemaids, declare— and they're . " judges, you'll own— : >: : Such a. fine lot »f soldiers there- never was

.'„ ...known. ■ . ] .- ; . ■ ." - : , .;.-. . ■ ::'...■ They've a cricket club formed, and have played once or tw^ce j.-, -„-.-,' ; , - ; r They'd have skating clubs too, if; they'd got : - ■■'.. .. anj \y®'}\... ■■ '.. ■ ; ' "■> '. ■• • ■■ , „;. i,' ' , ■ They've societies friendly, and_unfriend,ly too, With tb^eir aaahes andj aprons,' green, silver, ■'"''' and blue. ' '''.',...',. .'. „ . " ' r ' • ,'. ; They've a brass band as well, , and 'twquld strike you all dumb, ' : .._,._ '. T iTo see how one fellow walks into the' dram ; While another Iceeps" blowing— unfortunate „;.. ; elf—.. ..,:.■•■■; ..-: <;..*• ,- .: ■fi -'* Through a trumpet that* three times >as big.as : . . „„ himself. ,•/,;,-•:■ t : •■ • - : .,: ; ■ ; Them's a fire brigade talked of } with engine! 1 j.; ,„ . apd.hoae,— ,. ,.-. „■. „ - ,:.;•„■ ..[ Though iwhere they'll get water, from nobody;

■•:. .•■■knowi ;,.-;.; ;-.-'-; : ...:.;.■> Butif fires .should happen, they all seem to say, LAn.engjn&looks .nobby, although ;ft don't ipluyn ' But all tbose aflaire, thopgh quite up to the. mark » ,-.,... .', - Are thrown m the shade, m fact, put m the 1 ■ r '" daSk," ' :.-' ; - ,"• . ' ■ * •'• ■ : '- • '■ . .By aome-gentr, trho/nd doubt, aie grieat'friendr < to »ociety,

, For they've started a. regular teetotal society. A meeting was called, all the town went to bear it ; The Mechanics', by jingo ! you couldn't get near it ; Tlie bare were all empty, and one clever wight, Who provides a. free fiddle on Saturday night, | When he found that the usual assembly of asses "Were not there to ; empty his diminutive glasses, Used some words, which I don't think it fit to repeat. Then pitched the poor fiddler out into the street. The meeting assembled, all went who were able : A pail of cold wafer was placed on the table. And then came the speeches from boatmen and cobblers, Of the evils resulting from too many nobblers; How crimes, mounting up till they came to manslaughter, Were all caused by grog ; while the drinking of water Enabled teetotallers, their children, and spouses, To go every day buying sections and houses, And live m such wonderful comfort and plenty, That one note of theirs was worth other men's twenty. As for taking the Pledge, there were scores went the length of it, Though some have been tight every night on the strength of it ; But others who signed mean to keep it with vigour, At least, till the nobblers are vory much bigger; For they say they're now drawn so remarkably small, That it's like paying money for nothing at all. But, success to their effort — much good may come out of it, Though the wells will get emptied, there's not the least .doubt of it. May the seed which they've planted grow ; stronger and taller, — If the good they do 's small, yet the harm they do 's smaller ; May we never again, as we seek our abodes, See gents, nor yet ladies, (?) lay drunk on the roads; May we lose all those sights which the morn oft discloses, Of eyes put m mourning, and lop-sided noses; May we all drop our drinkings and horrible guzzlin's While our wives dress m velvets, and satins, and ffiU .ling j May we learn to drink Adam's ale out of a bucket, As fast as the engine atFlockton's can suck it. And last, though not least — putting joking aside, boys — It's a very good thing if it's properly tried, boys—- -. ■■■■— - -- - - May wo all feel the blessings of perfect sobriety", And may good luck attend the Teetotal Society. J.T.M.