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A THERMOMETER MAN IN DETROIT.

Us was a wayworn man from tho East, and he had thirty-seven thermometers in a basket on his arm. After standing on the streot corners for two or throe hours without making a single sale, ho started from tho eastern part of tho city, hoping to do better among tho private houses. He seemed to gain confidenco from tho cheerful look of tho buildings, and ho bore himself like a banker, as ho ascended (ho steps and pulled a door boll. " Nothing for the poor," said tho lady, as sho opened tho door, " I am not soliciting for the poor—l am selling thermometers," he said, in a balmy voice. . ! " Don't want any—bought out stock in the fall," sho said, drawing in her' head. "I Said thermometers, madam," he culled, in a despairing voice. ' " I know it; but we have got all tho vegetables that we can use," sho called back, and the. door struck his toes. Going in the saloon on the corner the man addressed the proprietor with' a sweet smile, asking— I "Would you like a thermometer to day?" ; "Py der bushel P" inquired the saloonistP" .''". " No-a little • thermometer--a little instrument for tolling you when it is cold or warm." " Any music-box iuitP" inquired the saloonist. " No; it records the weather." "Whatwedder?" " Why, tho woather we have every day in the year. When it is warm this little tube runs up; when' it is. cold it sinks down."

: "Umph '.Ten it ish warm I dakes my coat off; Ten it is gold I put more goal in the stoaf. Go sell dat to some schmall boy as knows noddings!" The thermometer-man entered a carpet weaver's, and a bowbackod man nodded kindly, and cordially welcomod him. " Accurate thermometers ' for only twenty-five cents," said the pedlar, as he held one up. . " New thing ?" said the, woaver, as he took one in his hand.

" We hare had thermometers for many years. People have, come to consider them a.household necessity. "Zero-Zero? Who was Zero P" asked the weaver, readiag the word behind the glass. . The thermometer man explained, and the weaver, after trying to get his thumb nail under tho glass, asked— _ "Where does the blamed thing open ?" " Thermometers are not made to open, my friend," was the reply. "Well, I don't want no thermometer aronnd me that wont open," growled the man. "I thought it was anewkind of stove-handle when you came in, or'l shouldn't have looked at it." i

| The thermomoter man next tried a dwelling-house. In answer to his ring the door was instantly and swiftly_ opened by a red-faced woman, who hit him with aelub, and cried out— "I'll learn you, you young villain!" She apologised, and explained that several bad boys had been ringing the door-bell, and ho forgavo her, and said: " I have some accurate and handsomo thermometers here. Perhaps yon —" "We never have hash for breakfast, she interrupted. "My husband detests hash, so I don't want to buy," " Hash!" a thermometer has nothing to do with hash!" he exclaimed. "..Well, I can't help that," she replied, slowly closing the door. "We haven t any lamps to mend, and you shouldn't track mud on the steps that way.'' There was a portly man crossing the street, and the thermometer man beckoned to him, halted him, and, when he got near enough,asked - " Can I sell you an accurate thormomo. ter to-day P" "What do I want with a thermometer?".exclaimed the portly man, raising his voice a peg. " Why, to note the weather," " You blamed idiot! Do you suppose I run the weather?" roared the fat man, growing purple in the face. ! " But you want to know when it is hot or cold, don't you ?" "Am I such an old fool that I don't know when it's summer and when.it's winter ?" shrieked the fat man. " We all know, of course," replied tho thermometer-man;" but every respectable family has a thermometer nowadays." " They hare, eh! I never had one, nor wouldn't have one, and do yon dare to tell me that I ain't respectable?" screamed old portly. "I didn't mean—"

" Yes, you did, and you hare made mo miss the car, and I'll cane you!" The tberaiomoter-man waded across the muddy Btreet and made his esoape, and at dusk last night was backed up against the Soldiers' Monument, his_ basket between his feet, and was squinting sadly at the clock on the City-hall tower.

Permanent link to this item

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/THA18761103.2.17

Bibliographic details

Thames Advertiser, Volume IX, Issue 2461, 3 November 1876, Page 3

Word Count
740

A THERMOMETER MAN IN DETROIT. Thames Advertiser, Volume IX, Issue 2461, 3 November 1876, Page 3

A THERMOMETER MAN IN DETROIT. Thames Advertiser, Volume IX, Issue 2461, 3 November 1876, Page 3

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