WIT AND HUMOUR.

Taranaki Herald, Volume LXIV, Issue 145085, 9 September 1916, Page 5

WIT AND HUMOUR.

Miss Green: "Of course, you can’t believe everything you hear.’' Miss Gadleigh; "Oh, no; but you can repeat it.” Politician; "I have nothing to say. All I knew is what is in the papers.” Reporter: "L see now what you meant yesterday- when you waid there is nothing in the papers nowadays.” Anxious Mother: “Young Millyuns seems to bo quite friendly with yon of late. Do you know what his intentions arc?” Pretty'Daughter: “No, and I don't care; but I know what mine arc.” I “It was Shakespeare, wan t U, wm, said, “Sweet arc the uses of adversity?” “Shakespeare may have said it originally. but 1 heard it from a lawyer who bad pocketed Od per cent, of au estate.” “They say,” remarked tho spinster boarder, "that the woman who hesitates is lost.” "Lost is not the proper word for it.” growled the. fussy oid bachelor at the pedal extremity of the table. “She’s ostinct.” „ Young Aldrich was waiting in the parlour for Ids loved one to appear, when her small brother came in and took a seat. "Well, Chester,” said Aldrich, "what did your sister say when you told her I was waiting?” “Why,'she didn’t say nothing.” replied tbo small brother. "She just took a ring off one finger an’ put it on another.’’ ■Barrister’s ‘Wife: ' "So your client was acquitted of murder. ■, On what grounds?” Barrister; "Insanity. Wo proved that his father puce spent two years in an asylum.” Barrister’s Wife: “But he didu t, did he?" Barrister; "Yes. He was doctor there.' hut we had not time to bring that fact out.”