Life In America.

Taranaki Herald, Volume L, Issue 12279, 11 June 1903, Page 3

Life In America.

SCHEDULE OF A MODERN NEW YORKER. 8 a.m. — Jximp out of bed. B.o*— Bath and shave. B.oß— Dressed. ' . B.lo —^Downstairs to 'breakfast. , 6.13— 801t breakfast and read headlines. Say "yes" and~ "no" to wife four or five times. B.2l— Sprint to Elevated. 8.25 — Wait one minute for train and swear at delay. '. B.so— Rush into office. Doclc three clerks for being three minutes behind. .' 9to 12.30— D0 a great business. Telephone eight times, writ© 400 letters, see ten men. 12.34— Hurry to restaurant. 12.36— After waiting nearly fifty seconds to get waited on, cram down a sandwich, a piece of pie, and & cup of hot coffee. Time wasted in doing so, 1 minute and 30, seconds.. 12.42— 8ack to office. 12.50 to G— More business. Telephone twelve times, see eighteen men, answer four telegrams, " and write 150 more letters. 6.ls~Rush to Elevated to get express. See it coming m the distance and jump up four steps at a time. Last man in. 6.45 — Run upstairs to room. Strip off business clothes in three minutes. Put on evening clothes in three mm. Utes' more. G.s2~Fume because dinner is two minutes late. 6.54 — One hour at dinner. Awful bore. Fidget all the time. Guests. 7.s3— Smoke. , S.O-^Theatre. Leave wife at second act to go club. 9.40 Hearts at club. I*o.l5 — Hearts too sl6w. Change to bridge. 12— -Home and meet wife on stairs. Kiss her good night and jump into bed. De&d to the world.— Life. - .