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Taranaki Herald, Volume XLVIII, Issue 11524, 13 May 1899, Page 1 (Supplement)

Tommy — '' Mamma, why are papa's watches always bigger than mamma's watches ?" ' His Mother — " Oh, it seems that men cannot got along without having great times.' " Jane," said a man, looking for his razor case, "1 have places whore I keep my things, and you ouglit to know all of them." " Yes," she said, " I ought to know where you keep your late hours." It is supposed that the average depth of sand in the deserts of Africa is from thirty to forty feet. Admiral Schley recently sat ia a box in one of the Philadelphia theatres, and every movement he made was watched by the thousands In the place. If he bowed to an acquaintance, they applauded. If he smiled, -they applauded. In fact, the whole evening was ;in incessant ovation. But Schley's defeat came at the end of the second act. He aiose and Btarted to the next box to call on frieuus, but ho had not takau two steps before a deep bass voice from the upper gallery rolled forth, " Let's all go out and take a beer," placing the accent on the " all." The admiral collapse.l, sank into a chair, and shook with laughter, while the audience shrieked.