CAPTURING SONS-IN-LAW.

Taranaki Herald, Volume XLIII, Issue 9920, 3 February 1894, Page 2

CAPTURING SONS-IN-LAW.

A roxn mother tells in the GlwsQmr Weekly Herald how she married off her six daughters. " I did it," she says, " with the frying-pan, a cosy fire, and cushioned rocking-chair. There, now, you have the whole story," confessed the lady. " I would have every one of those girls on my hands this minute if I hadn't found them husbands out of my cookery book. Despising an old maid as I do a smoky chimney, when my eldest girl was full grown I hustled about right and left for some means of marrying her. Mary was neither very handsome nor very lively so I knew better than to trust to luck. I just set to work and determined upon a plan that has never miscarried with any ono of them. All my life I have made close observation of men's ways, and have heard great stories of the happy results of feeding the sex. So I looked carefully over the field and picked me out a decent thriving young fellow, whose habits wore good and his heart whole. You see my anxiety never made me forgot my manners or set traps for other folks' game. I began asking them in a friendly manner to call. Then I led the conversation round to his mother, and the way he had been nurtured, and what he most cared to cat in general. I never missed a word, and after the first visit we got him to drop into tea on Sunday evening. Then you may bo sure I got in some fine work, and when the second meal was over I knew the yearnings of that man's stomach better than he did himself. My calculations led me to believe it is best to st;irt towards tho close of the year. Spring is no good. A man loves all womankind at that season : his appetite is slight. In my experience courtship started in November, leads, as a rule, to a wedding in May. Of course, my chief reliance is in tempting food but I would always advise (supporting the liberal table with a big comfortable rocker, drawn facing a cheerful fire. Speak of it as 'his chair ' ' and his fire,' and you won't make any mistake. Another thing, don't be too pressing. A steady eye and a light hand count for more than nagging. I was always careful not to gush, out if I have apple fritters Tuesday, I apologised for their poorness, and begged him to drop in Thursday, and let Mary redeem her mother's reputation with some particularly appetising dish. In the evenings I had her trained to .sit in a low sowing chair under the big lamp, and either darn socks or hem dusters. When he spoke of her, I said I trembled at the awful blow it would be for us if she should marry and go away. This kind of thing was kept up till the middle of February, when my gentleman began to feel easy and snug, like ono of the family. Then came the delicate moment — for just at this point I would introduce somo silly dandy that neither I nor Mary would have looked at. But I codded the youngster, had liim to tea on the samo night as the regular, and waited to see what would happen. The ruse always succeeded. He and Mary would come blushing to ask if they might have each other, and while they made love in the parlour, I studied up my cookery book to see my way to another son-in-law."