Sayings and Doings OF OUR NEIGHBOURS IN LITTLE MUDFLAT,

Taranaki Herald, Volume XLII, Issue 9840, 28 October 1893, Page 1 (Supplement)

Sayings and Doings OF OUR NEIGHBOURS IN LITTLE MUDFLAT,

AS BELATED BY SILAS URBAN. No. 32.—Mr Meiuß as Macdaff—He identifies himself with his part—Wot according to Bbakespeafe — The Colonel's remedy.

1 AM afraid that Mr Hammer, the tragedian at our theatre, will resign and seek employment elsewhere. He is gradually bocommg disgusted. Last week the manager wanted to produce Macbeth, and as be was.a little^ short-handed, he engaged a young 'fellow named Meigs, an amateur frpm Wilmington, to, play Mod off.* Meiga skid he had never performed in a real theatre, but he felt oerttin be could make out first rate. I wonld like you, Mr Meigs, said the manager, to identify yourself with the part. The only way to suoceed as an actor is to feel what yoa are aoting. Imagine that yon really are the oharaotor yon ie- - present, and do as'yoa think the character wonld have done nnder the same circumstances. . -, I know exactly, what yoa mean, said \M«ig«.->-rr >•• i ■• ;■ Now yon are going to play Maodaff, •aid the manager. I want you to go on that stage with the; idea that you ;are in Sootland in anoieni times, and when you have yonr fight wit >. Maobeth ia the Jast aot, you mast, let yoarself oafc; be ia 1 . earnest;rise to the height of ths oooasion, ' and. imagine that Maobeth is really your enemy., - 0,1 understand, said M,eiga. I know ; I'll do the thing justice; don't you be afraid. - That night, when tbe performance began, 'Macdaff span along pietty well nntH in tbe scene after the murder, where Maobeth is trying to induce the company to believe that he did not' commit the ' crime, when Macduff suddenly interrupted him to say: : -Oi 7,°°' needn' try to play^that on us. I know well, ehoagh who killed that old feller. I know yoa did it. Yoa just wait. Mr Hammer boow lad at him and said to ; him in a stage; whisper : ' ' 'Keep qriiet, yoa idiot. ' . ' It's all very well ts say.' keep qaie* I' replied Mr Meige, bat you can't itafx anything down tne; I know you did it,- and —bat never mind, I kin wait for my ohanoe. ' Then Maobeth continaed with his lines, without-paying any farther attention to Maodaff ; bat as tbe company withdrew, Macduff turned jußt as he got to the door, and''shaking his fidtat tha mardeter, said; , Old.feller, I'll fix you in the laßt aot.I'll bang the ribs out of yon, you old tarkey-bozaard, now yon see if I don't 1 Mr Hamaer, between the aots, pitchedInto Meigs, and told him not to dare to attempt any more of that foolishness in the rest of the play, or be would kick him oat of the theatre. Bat Meigs smiled and remembered what the manager said about identifying himself with his part, and thought he wouldn't mind what Hammer said, for of coarse he wouldn't like it. In the fust aot when Maobeth shouted " Lay on, MioddJuU"* Mr Meigs felt that his opportunity bad come, and exolaiming: " Yoa think 1 Jaresent, do yoa ?" he seized his sword with both hands nnd rushed at his adversary. The onset was so furious, j and Macduff seamed in each deadly earnest that Hammer moved backwarJ, Meigs, following him and hacking at him, uttering meanwhile snob' ejaculations as : " Didn't I tell yoa /" " Wanted to fool me about that-murder,, did ypn?'lJ'How do you - likethaf/and that', and that ?" " There's a grown person's dose for you I" &c, &o. At last Mrtodaff became so terrific that Mr Hammer was soared, and he actually jumped over tbe footlights and ruu up the aisle of the auditorium. Ami<i shouts of laughter from the aanience Macduff leaped over und put after him. lie overtook Macbeth ue sent No. 233 of tho parqaet circle, and alter knocking him down, be sat on him. and' was abaut W puach'h'is f'nose.for tbe fourth time when the ushers interfered >As they draggi d Meigs off he waved bis cloy more triumphantly anti s id:' Didn't I, give, him particular thund< r ? Mauled him," didn't 1, hey ? I kin hustle any four each fellers. He'll learn better now than to go round bu.obering old, "gray-headed ohaps that-'never hurt him.

Served him light if I'd a jabbed this thing o]< ar through him aad bailt up a funeral for his relations. J Then Mr MeLs went behiad the scenes', and was astonished, to feoeive a peremptory discharge from the tnanagor. As lie pat, oa his clothes and went .oat, he B&id : [t's the queerest thing to me why I didn't suit. I done my lev-el best accord- j ing to instructions. | Mr Hammer says that if that theatre is not osnducted more rigidly in aocordanoe with art prinoiples his resignation will s have to be aocep'ed. I encountered Colonel Perkins in oar chemist's shop the other day, while he was in the aot of buying some ," Balsamic Healing Plaster." ' I was surprised at his appearanoe. '"Nearly every visible portion of his body was oovered with strips of piaster, s an i he bad a slice of it across the bridge of Ms nose, bo that he looked as if he had emerge I from a desperate hand-to-hand combat with' pirates, bo nearly a complete wreokthat if he were not patched and slued together he would fall apart uni lose himself gradually until 'he was, scattered all aroacfi' over the community. When L asked him tee cause of his condi-. tion he explained it to me as follows : The fact is, it's the qneerest case on record. Doctor says he never heard of anything like it before. Last December I had a bind of i aia in my shin. - Oan't ex*otly describe 'it, but it was pretty aiuoh ;lifce.apa^rpon"i6]tomjidh adhe. Yp"S imagine ; a man jwith an ordinary stomaoh aohe in his shin, and you understand the situation. 'Doctor advised me to apply _' Balsamio Healing Plaster,' and I did. Cfonsequenqe, was that pain flitted downward and settled? on the rirfht side of my ankle. I ,Btuck bo me more plaster there, and the ache slid along into m'/Jug toe. More plaster there, and the misery moved next door to the adjoining toe., We)?, sir, I kept crowding it from one toe to the other right along, until it got on to the little toe, where it hurt like sin until I applied the Balsamic, when the pain lit oat and f oand a home in my left ankle, I went after it with the remody, and then' it emigrated and commenced keeping hous» on the left side of my knee. Notice to' quit being served,' it, fled and settled down, in my stomach, .where it acted co inftcndaßly aft "to' make" cholerinnorbus Beam like a friend «y comparison. Bat the plaster persuaded it to move on, and then it dodged off on to my left leg. I chased it down that member from ona point to another, in and out, over the toes, np the other Bide, and then it took boarding in my fiver. For about two days I was so yellow from billioasneas that I could see to read r at night by the light I eh'ed. ;~;T Then I tactded.the persecuted organ with the remedy, and the pain hanted oat a good place for a residence under my third rib.., 'lf one- of yoar ribs has ever had colio you know how I felt. It was torture.; Bat doctor said, itiek on; more Balsamic/ and, sure enough, ' the aVony took out walking papers and put in a claim for about four cubic inches of my right shoulder. .Doctor soid plaster up my arms quick so'a it couldn't guide down into them., .Bat before I could do it, that Buffeting: made itself at home in my left elbow. However I tuoliered down after it, and when it had gone clear round my fingers and up the other bide it Bickered and took refuge in my neck. I pledge you my word I never wore a shirt colhr for a week. Being bung was mere child's play to it. ttach as I could do to swallow. Bat more plasters, and up she went, this time into my jaw, and for a fortnight that oolio, or whatever you call it, rattled around among my teeth until I just wanted to die. Didn't care a cent whether I was an elector or a corpse; Would as leave 'ye skipped and been sepulchred as to 'ye staid above ground a howling martyr. What did doctor cay ? ' More plaster.' Oa she went, all 'round my jaws, and mitter pain scooted up and seemed as cordial as ever in its now quarters in my nose. Kvory time I sneezed I thought I'd lose it. Ached Jiko a barrelfal of rbou* mutism. I .didn't any more dare to blow it than if it belonged to some other man, It .would have been a hopeless wreok before this, but I laid old Balsamic across tbe bridge, and tho pain having notice to quit, paoked up and started. It took a fanoy to my forehead, and for awhile it exerted itself there with suoh energy that I begged my wife io split my head open with tho axe. - Headaches ? Well you've had 'eon, of course. But I don't believe you c' r er felt as if Mount Vesuvius was stock right over your eyos wanting to erupt. That wna me. I sufferei like ti coudensed hospital. Hut on went: a strip of plaster, and that pt»in moseyed, gui'", left homo, and got new quarters on top ot m} bead. Th io it is now. I m coverod with Balsamic planter from my toe* up. I loos, like a patchwork quilt whoni'm undron66 I. Yoa'd be am use I. When I walk I era k! lils- a dry newspaper I uaiie the baOv ;i nh»h' just turning over Bui. I've «ot (hit I maladj cornered. It can't 450 down, aud Jthtrß'fl no place tlCjr it J;o gb,uj>'. .And now jL'm worried to know Wha'. fo do about it j Would you get scalped it you wire me, or j be trepanned and huve-a silver plated sky '

light put in your skall ? I doa't know whioh. It bothers iae like thunder. Doctor wants to saw off the snio place in the skall ! and let in a kind of! a brasß rap door. But I'm kind of uncertain." I'm afraid he^cires more about satisfying his curiosity than curing me up. It's awful, isn't it ? I wish I'd driven that ache into a toe and then ■ ohopped it off. , , • ■ Theu tb -•■colonel paid his bill and left. [to be continued.]