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Taranaki Herald, Volume XXXVI, Issue 7296, 12 February 1887, Page 2

The superiority ot man to nature is continually illustrated. Nature needs an immens'j quantity of quills to make a goose with; but a man can make v goose of himself with one. A German looked up at the sky and remarked : "I guess a leedle it vill rain somedime pooty qaeok." " Yeca do, eh ?" replied an Irishman. " What business has yees to purtend to know about British weather ye furriner ?" To give an idea of tho state of things in England, it is atated that a landed proprietor in the West of England has some 7,000 acres unoccupied, the late tenants refusing to give sa. an acre rent and pay rates and taxes. Numberless farms are unlet, and Guy's Hospital, the funds of which are largely sunk in landed property, has had to make an appeal to the public for the first time in the history of the institution on account of its loss of income owing to the great depreciation of farm property. They appeal to the public for £100,000 to make up their income to its former standard, failing this they will be compelled to close a large portion of the Hospital. A student, attending lectures at one of the Universities, put two or three verypuzzling questions to the professor he was sitting under. The learned gentleman was naturally annoyed at being suddenly called on to give information for which he was not prepared, and said with some heat that " a fool could ask more questions in a day than a wise man could answer in a week." Upon which the student roplied, "Quite true, sir; that explains why [ was plucked at the last examination ! " Them was a 4ead silence in the class for a minute, when the professor geod-humourr edly laughed and said, " Very good; but if you were as smart iv answering my papera aa you are ia answering me you wouldn't have been plucked." " Sleepy Hollow," i£ Blower than some of its neighbours, is also surer. During tfye last throe years the bankruptcies in the Nelson district have been 25,15, and 11) respectively. Qwing to the continued dry weather it is Btutisd thut many horses and cattle on the East Coast have died from thirst. Two horses were found dead in a dried up creek at Tologo. Husband (impatiently to wife) : " I told you I only wanted hall: a cup of tea, and us uauul, you've filled it up to the lop. Duu't you know wbut half full is ?" Mother in-liuv (grimly) { "She ought to know by this time."