MORE HOWLERS

Temuka Leader, Issue 10848, 7 May 1932, Page 4

MORE HOWLERS

"What King came after Queen Elizabeth?” "Philip of Spain, but she wasn’t having any.” Did we think of such cunning ausM’ers when we were at school, or is the race of schoolboys growing more intelligent? At any rate, Air Cecil Hunt’s collection of “Howlers” seem to get funnier and funnier. History was ever a happy hunting ground for the howler-maker. How easy it is to fall into little errors such as "Napoleon defeated (he Maramaduices at the Battle of the Pyramids,” or that "When the garrison of Lucknow ran out of provisions, a Scottish maiden put her ear to the ground and said, ‘Dinner, ye heart it.' ” Here arc some more: From what state did Frederick the Great invade Silesia? From a state of collapse. Mary Queen of Scots sewed well, History says she was fond of darning. Who was the father of James the First’s son? He hadn’t got one (Not a fair question, this). Napoleon dispersed the rioters with a whiff of grape fruit. The Yeliow Peril moans a banana skin left on the pavement. Bannock Burn is so called became Alfred burnt the cakes there. in llu; reign of Elizabeth the (’ominous wore always .petitioning (lie Sovereign of marry, u thing they would never have dreamed of doing in the time of Henry VIH. Henry the Eighth was called Bluff King Hal because lirst he bluffed IBs wives ami then ho killed them. Who was the famous Maid who saved France? Mademoiselle from A rin cutlers. To which night-club, one wonders bad the schoolboy who wrote the following been taken during the holidays; "Supper ended the company amused itself with glee and mad wriggle”? And where bad Jones Minor been when lie brought out the brilliant remark that "Bacchus was the god of the bookrankcr”? Here are more picked out at random:—— Extravagance is wearing a tie when you have a beard. Too much indulgence in sports gives us barrackers’ veins. A croupier is someone who has the croup. A sculptor is a man who makes faces and busts. Muses were often seen at funerals in old days. Airs Grundy was: A famous tennis lady. The lady who carries away salt. The future of "He drinks” is “He is drunk.” When Hercules was very young he heard a kissing sound, and put out his hand and strangled two servalit s. Sinister means a woman who hasn’t married. (Tills has a sinister sound in a Leap Year). Equilateral was a horse robber. A cataract is a cat that catches rats. A fissure is a man who soils fish Tlie Decalogue is a low-nocked frock. And as a motto for all prepetrators of "howlers": "Cave Cauem”—“Beware of the cane." The "Howlers” Prize Competition run by the University correspondent, elicited some good examples, to know that he "was chosen King of Scotland by Edward I,’ but it is certain that “Old King Cole” was a “Merry Monarch” if not "Hie .Merry Monarch.” And, after all, a sensible answer lo “Of whom was it said that lie never smiled again?'' is “of Charles I after IBs execution.” And who can deny that Hie milky Way is “the way yon feed infants"?

dress the Lady Isabella-, when sbe became ill. Fortunately her hands had not, been affected by the stroke, so her favourite occupation was still « left to her. This particular doll had the blue eyes and golden hair of tlio old couple's little girl, who hud died when she was three, and so began the game which meant so much to the two of them. Isabel had been the little gill's name --Isabella liu. doll was called. JL!ut Isabella was not to he merely ihe daughter of a poor UlUe shopkeeper. Her father had been nothing less than tin earl and she had been kidnapped in infancy, hut some day her high-born relations would hud Iter and she would go in triumph lo her "aris-l o-eratic” home. So the Lady Isabella she became, and every detail must be perfect and beautiful, for, as Granny Marvel said; ‘‘After all, she’s still a marvel,” Barbara thought that was very clever of Granny, And with much joy and care and thought and sometimes with great weariness and often with the grief which had never left Granny Marvel's heart, the Lady Isabella became a vision of beauty. (To be continued) We pass in sleep by Fate's decree, Of all our doubts and dogmas free. Yvo pass all form, but live again In worlds wo suffer to attain. We pass from pain to soothing rest, Relieved from ills of throat and chest. Wc pass our cash to ease assure With Woods’ Great Peppermint Cure. 7.