GALS AND BUOYS.

Temuka Leader, Issue 7569, 23 May 1914, Page 3

GALS AND BUOYS.

The thin little man wearing pebble glasses and brown canvas shoes stood near the bathing machines and eased himself of a series o'-' chest notes that would have made an opera basso squirm with envy. ‘•Bravo, Liza,!'’ he bellowed, looking out to sea, “You’re teachin’ ’em jest ’ow ter do it. There ain’t no rope-holdin’ and screochin ’about you. Keep your had under, old gal; your a-doing it All”

He gave his lungs and vocal chords full play fo rsome time, then traces of anxiety appeared on his face. “I suppose my missus’s ’cad can’t by any means ’ave got stuck in the mud?” ho" inquired of the machine proprietor,, as ho jerked his thumb in the direction of a round, brown object. “She’s ’ad it under water this last ten minutes.” “If your missus is the party wot ’ad the houtsize costume, she’s out o’ the water and listenin’ to the niggers,” came the reply. “Wot you’re lookin’ at, and maltin’ such a unhearthly row about is a buoy, guv’nor!” SAVED THE “TOPPER.” A literary man, possessed of,the learned degree of doctor, used to take his midday luncheon at a well-known West End cafe. One wet day the place was less fully-attended than usual, and the miserable state of the weather induced most of the visitors to seek their various employments as speedily a.s possible. ' When proceeding to follow their example, the learned doctor was astonished to find, in place of his shabby and weath-er-beaten bead covering, a stylish tall hat. shining with sparkling brilliancy. He could only attribute this quasimagical change to the delicate attention of some friend, and hastened to display Ibo acquisition, with no little pride, to his family. The next day a young man accosted him at the cafe and politely remarked: “ Doctor, allow me to claim my hat ami apologise for the apparent mistake. The fact was. however, i had no umbrella.. and you bad one. 1 did not know what to do to prevent my now hat from, being spoilt in the rain, and as T knew yours could not bo made worse than ft is. I borrowed it, and now return it with thanks.”