A LEGISLATOR.

Temuka Leader, Issue 2088, 21 August 1890, Page 3

A LEGISLATOR.

The Wellington Weekly Herald says:—

" One of the most dejeeted mortals Wellington has seen in many a day was a friiky, cat-eyed man with a red nose—a real W .H.R.—who earried in his coat-tail pocket a bottle of Scotch whisky as the people were troopiDg on to the wharf on Sunday morning last when he found that the bottle had broken, probably when turning a ■harp corner so as to escape detection, and the whisky had run (out on the street. From fhp amount of whisky wastjng \\s fragrance udoii th,e sidewalk tfie bottle must haye P,een full when he starfa4. Bp was.' o^Y^i 8 \° the disaster that h,ad wRBSfI&I to & 8 " liquid "all'' flitfU aowearie ealled /»-* to Kim that his bottle - ." -«*b With a scar-J ' , *« ,lwhng. «••- „ ,r; , hls -SJTB* «^e»t «.ong the path ot tb V g p ji led liquor ttS far as jt could be f o n 9Wed in t]ie crowd, and for a few minutes the M.H.E. was utterly dazed as he thought of the magnitude of the calamity. As he gazed, with the light of despair in his eyes, there was a rattle of glass in Mb coat pocket, indicating a total collapse, and a wineglass or so of whiskey was still held in the bottom of the shattered bottle, and

which was running out at his feet. As looks a father upon the things of his , dead son he looked at the ruin that i was wrought, fadly tossing the ■ broken bettle to the gutter, amidst : roars of laughter, he said : • Gentlemen, in me you behold the most un- ; lucky man this country has ever ■ produced. That's whisky—prime Scotch wiskey—for which I paid my lovely six bob! It comes a month late, owing to circumstances over which I had no control, but it is my sessional present to myself after an arduous week's legislation en your behalf, and I was taking it home to my boardinghouse in Hill street, where, after much mental wear and tear of Parliament, I expected it would solace many a weary hour, and drive the vampires of thought from a troubled mind • and there, spilled along the unconscious pavement, is the sum and total of my hopes.' Three or four larrikins, moved to sympathy for the eloquent dedauchee, came forward with words of sympathy. ' Waste not words of condolence on such as I,' said the unfortunate man, 'I am Hoodoo from the jungles of India. I was nursed at the breasts of Bad Luck, and am wedded to the Goddess of Mischance; Misfortune is an own cousin, and Calamity is my mother-in-law. I bought a horse yesterday in the sale yards, and the beast lay down and died before I got him to my livery stable.'—' At least,' said a I larrikin, 'you had his shoes.'—'and when I came to examine his carcass I ; found he had never been shod. I caa't trust myself to buy a totaliaator ticket, for fear I will not draw my own breath ; and if I should happen , to get into a tramcar with the editor of the Weekly Herald there would sure to be a run oh the Bank of New Zealand. No, gentlemen. Stand apart. I was born under the planet of Misery, and I should not wonder now if the town clock should fall upon us. So stand aside and let an illstarred man pass on his way, There's my whisky—the last prop of a sinking soul' (and he gaeed dejectedly at a , little puddle of it on the sidewalk) ■ ' and I haven't as much as a piece of damper in my pocket to sop it up with.'" The curtain then fell on a \ most humiliated Member of Parlia* ; ment.