Current Comment

Taranaki Daily News, 19 June 1937, Page 11 (Supplement)

Current Comment

(By "M.O.S.")

Other Points of View

Now that Ncw Plymouth is so favoured for conferences we wonder whether it would be possible to hold a conference of those who have never bcen lo a conference. # Talking of conferences, according to one view of the proceedings the chicf result of the Imperial Conference is that another one will be held next timc. * * » • Headings: "Twenty Thousand CJub moving"; "Chartering of ship suggcsted" —The club is to be congratulated on having such a large membership that the suggestion was considered neccssary. * « * * Those Spri'ngboks. Frankly, we don t like this news about the Springboks. First of all we were told about "fumbling" and "defmite unecrtainty." Of cou rsc, the team was certain to field badly after a iong voyage, but it was really disturbing to learn that, the score was only 55. Now the scoring has improved slightly .to a total of 63, but there is still a noticeable "lack of condition." Though it is the oif season, we think N^w Zealand has nothing to .fear. It is a pity, of course, that some of our best batsmen are in England just now. . • ' \ • • • "Untrammelled" Rhetoric. Complaining of the "intolerable burden of taxation" on farmers, a speaker at Invercargill worked up to one of those rhetorical climaxes that leave one shivering with apprehension. "Are we going to be like dumb driven cattle or like heroes in a battle?" he asked. "All we ask is reasonable, untrammelled action, in our production activities." Taxes . burden farmers, Costs are rising high. ' Down in Invercargill Men rise up and gry "Are we driven cattle, "Dumb despite our pain, "Or heroes in a combat "Who strive with might and main?" Down in Invercargill Rhetoric runs wild, Metaphors are mixing, Word on word is piled, Horns are grown by heroes, Cattle speak with tongues, And other wondrous wonders Give voice in farmers' lungs. Speakers make us shiver Lest they overstep Verbal bounds of custom ; Seeking ultra pep. ! • N Friends, it's ' our contention a Maze rnay follow maze When orators untrammelled Condemn this taxing craze. * # * An'd after all that has been said. lately the Honl 'Lee' Martin is unkind enough to congratulate Taranaki farmers on rcfraining from criticism! .. i * i" "r. ■ ■ r . An- English professor considers we would .go a! long. way towards placating the Ifalians if , we . stopped calling them dagos s^cTr^fu&d . to confusp them with ice-creani vendors.. v Have you , lieard . that poor.'Tony Batista Has become ari Italian Fascista? HiS'organ and "monk." Are now ohly- junk,' And he's known by the title of Meesla. The Dear Old Sergeant-Major. Now that they have almost refined Abyssinia and paris of Spain, Italian soldiers have been ordered to refine themselves. They must not swear. That may be all very well for recruits, but what about the company sergeantmajor steeped in the traditions of the army and ready at a moment's notice to blast and wither any who dare criticise? Impression of Italian sergeant-major severely repressing himself in order .to compily with new regulation: "Company, Shun! Any — man who - swears in future will be given 10 days' C.B." And bursting into tears, the sergeantmajor embraced the recruits tenderly and. warned them against slipping into the ways of old soldiers — "those horrid, nasty, wicked fellows," he added without batting an eyelid. Then, almost forgetting himself for the moment, the sergeant-major said: "Hi, there! You — apology . . ," The first application of the new refinement was witnessed by General Pariani, inventor of the reform. "My dear, dear chap," he said as he ' slipped his arm affectionately through the sergeantmajor's, "I think you are having a splendid influence on these young lads. But I know you won't be offended if I take the liberty of suggesting , your remarks are rather over-embellished." j "Embell— ? Oh, you mean the blanks, sir," said the sergeant-major. "They're quite harmless, sir— unless you know the answers." # # • • What distresses us most however, is General Pariani's discovery that swearing is a Communistic custom. Well, those old-time n.c.o.s have a lot to answer for. e • # * But it is not the habit referred to by General Pariani that is troubling the Russian Army these days. The real difficulty. facing Russian soldiers now is the difficulty of living. And they dare not argue about it for fear ' they lose their heads. « * # • City Rivals. On a population basis Wellington far outshone Auckland in stipporting the King George V. Memorial Fund. Gently chiding the northern city, Mr. Hislop, Mayor of Wellington, has congratulated Auckland on its effort. Away up north there is a place That prides itself upon its grace And queens it over other parts Because they have not all her arts, Nor "p'rospects quite so plcasing. But that is neither .here nor there, Fpr Wellington is just as fair. And never yet has it. been said That Auckland's finer, better bred, Without a counterblasting. At Wellington there is a wiud— . "Jyst miM." your hat around that bend!" Anid Auckland, proudly boasts of .heat And ealls its 'mugginess "a. treat"— But these are merely trifles. For beauty spots, and thimderclaps, And hasty things like traffic traps, Expensive rents and urban strife, Enchanting ways of city life, Both places claim attention. Now fable claims it's never known That north or south has thrown a stone Without a jealous howl of grief That rascals low as any thief Should castigate the righteous. So we are wond'ring what will come Of Hislop's point about a sum So small that Auckland lags behind The southern city's noble find, And loses much in prestige.