FUN AND FANCY

Taranaki Daily News, 13 July 1935, Page 7 (Supplement)

FUN AND FANCY

“•£ou should try this style of dreSs, madam. It would suit, your rather pale complexion.” , ' “But I’m not usually so pale, I’m only shocked at the price.” & * # ’ “Now, when we cross the road, my dear,” said the old, lady to her friend, “don’t took round, because if a motor hits us in the hack it’s their fault, not ours!” # # # » NUTTY. Bill: Guppy used to call his hojise “The Nutshell.” Wonder why he changed the name? Fred: He got tired of funny people calling to ask if the kernel was in. # * PLENTY OF TIME. Visitor: Aren’t you going to switch the wireless on for the service, Mrs. Giles? It’s twenty past eleven. Old lady: Not just yet, sir. You see, we live fifty miles from Adelaide, so it takes a long time to get here. ■ * =» ' # <* MISUNDERSTOOD. “And when you eloped with the girl,” asked a friend, “did her father follow you?” “Yes,”-said the young man. “He s' living with us yet.” # * CAUSE AND EFFECT.

1 He: What happened wheip. the boss caught. you reading a novel instead of doing your work? She: I lost my place, of course. # o * # ON ACCOUNT. “Here’s a letter from Dunleigh asking us to send him part of what’s due new, and enclosing a stamp for a reply. What shall I do about it?” asked one of the two impecunious partners. “Send him back the stamp on account,” replied the other. # # # NATURAL QUESTIONS. His mother: Willie gets more like you every day. His father: What’s he done wrong now? •if # w # THRILLS. Sometimes people who attend a football match never know how exciting it was till they hear from those who listened in to the broadcast. CONSOLATION, ANYHOW. He: Dearest, will you marry me? She: Percy, I can’t marry you, but I shall always respect your good taste.

Schoolmaster: Now, Tommy, if the earth’s axis is an imaginary line, can you hang clothes on it? , Tommy: Yes, sir. Schoolmaster: Ha, ha! That’s good. And what sort of clothes, pray? Tommy: Imaginary clothes, sir.