LETTER FROM LONDON

Taranaki Daily News, 23 April 1932, Page 12 (Supplement)

LETTER FROM LONDON

NEWS FROM THE HOMELAND.

COLD COMFORT AHEAD.

London, March 3.

London newspapers talk elatedly of a Shilling off the income tax in the coming Budget. There are solid reasons why it would be thoroughly imprudent to count on even 6d off. The influence o the party caucus is dead against remission. It is said that any such benefaction now would be quite forgotten by the date of next polling day, and had.far better be reserved, till then. That attitude has the solid support of three economic facts, lariff revenue for the coming year is quite uncertain. Income tax receipts, levied on io present year of peak depression, vi s ow a huge slump. And the Cabinet has not managed to get anywhere near i s hoped-for total of reduction in national expenditure. This is not pleasant news,, but it is at least not misleading. AMERICAN NEWS. In the amusing play of the American War of Independence, “The Devil s Disciple,” a reprieve arrives just as they are about to hang the hero. The town clerk ia actually striking the hour of doom as the excited messenger bursts through the military cordon. But the debonair British 0.C., General. Buigoyne observes that there is no need for excitement. He would nevei dream of hanging any gentleman by American time. Precisely the same applies to American news. Most. of the war despatches from Shanghai come from American sources, and are thoroughly biassed and unreliable. Hence we find total casualties equal to about a normal trench raid on the old Western Front after what America- correspondents have vividly described as a week's intense battle on a 13-mile front. COLOUR OOM'PLEX. Tokio’s reputation for staff work makes the Shanghai blunder all the stranger. Japan had to attack on a 13-mile front, fairly well entrenched and gunned, held by 50,000 Chinese storm troops. By all European war standards the task required a minimum of 100,000 men, yet Tokio set about it with only a tenth of that number. Flattrajectory naval guns, moreover, could not be so effective against entrenched positions as dropping howitzer fire. But the real error was probably psychological. The two yellow races have a, mutual contempt for each other. That subtle factor made the Japanese underestimate their own potential needs, and caused the Chinese to fight much above normal. The error is comparable to our own at'Delville Wood, though the causes are quite different. UNCOMPLETED FUNERALS. In the reports of the Shanghai fighting such frequent reference is made to the grave mounds that one is surprised to hear nothing about the uninterred coffins. A tourist, out for a stroll in the fields around any city in China, is apt to come to the conclusion that the Chinese are extraordinarily attached to their dead. They keep so many of them lying about. The fact is, however, that the Chinese have a prejudice against being buried in any other soil but that of their native province. If, consequently, a Cantonese dies in Shanghai, the first thought of his relatives’is to have the corpse transported back to his own country. When the deceased is a man of means this presents no difficulty, but when both he and his relatives are poor the expense is prohibitive. . Then the departed is given a funeral but no interment. The coffin is carried with much ceremonial through the streets and dumped in a neighbouring field, there to await the day when the relatives have saved up enough money to pay for a last homecoming. How frequently that object is never attained may be judged from the hundreds of weather-beaten coffins that lie in Chinese fields, many of them revealing the bare bone or mouldering skeletons of their, occupants. BRIGHTER COFFINS. The Chinese are very fastidious in their choice of coffins. They like them to' be substantial, and of the finest woods procurable. They feel that their social standing is best gauged 'I" the weight of this last article of their requirement. A really big potentate of prosperous taipan will often have a coffiu that requires as many as 40 coolies to raise it. Many a wealthy Chinese orders his coffin in advance, and takes an affectionate interest in watching its fashioning, making certain that the workmanship is not scamped, and that the lacquering and metal fitments are of the finest quality. A realh good coffin will consist of three shells, the interior one of light wood, the middle one of lead or some other metal, and the exterior one of a curious junk-like shape, of three-inch thick hardwood. Naturally such luxurious receptacles are not to be seen lying about in the fields. The man who can purchase a coffin of such description can afford to have his remains carried in it to any part of China, The abandoned coflins are cheap, ramshackle affairs, which generally disgorge their contents after they have been exposed for a year or so. 'NEW INDIAN JUDGE. Colonel J. G. Thom, M.P., who has been appointed to the High Court at Allahabad, is, I believe, the first member of the Scottish Bar to join the Indian Bench. His colleagues have been given judicial appointments in the Colonies and Egypt, but not previously in India, although they have always been eligible. Colonel Thom will be greatly missed at the House of Commons. He has not spoken much there, but he has been active in the constituencies, where Jiis good looks and his vigorous style have made him a favourite. This is the second surprise he has sprung on his friends during the las l ' few weeks. Recently he announced his engagement, and he is taking his wife to India with him towards the end of next month. His friends hope that, when he has completed his judicial service in India, he will still think himself young enough—he is only 40—to return to politics. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. We are promised a life of the late Sir Alfred Fripp, the famous surgeon to King Edward, and founder of the Ancient Order of Froth-blowers. After extracting the bullet that Charlie Hands, the war correspondent, got in his thigh outside Mafeking, Sir Alfred told him a story of a similar wound received by a Militia private. In that case the Boer bullet carried into the man’s groin a badly battered sixpence, having passed clean through his trouser pocket. Sir Alfred presented the Tommy with this coin as a souvenir, when he saw him in hispital afterwards. So far from expressing thanks, the Militia man, who had been reading about the “hospital scandal,” turned the sixpence over in his hand, and then, addressing the great ' surgeon, said crisply: “None of ver blinking R.A.M.C. tricks with me.” I had half a quid in my pocket that day. Where's the other nine-and-six?”

ONE BETTER THAN HITLER. I suppose history will go on giving Christopher Colombus th® credit for discovering America, though every schoolboy knows now that th® Vikings anticipated him by many centuries. In the same way, no doubt, Herr Hitler will get the credit for being the first orator to dispense with a platfoi'm chairman. Yet the idea is as old as the hills. It was not even original when, a quarter of a century ago, Mr. Hilaire Belloc, adopted it at Salford in a successful election campaign. It is true he never fired revolver shots at the ceiling to emphasise his peroration, as the Nazi leader does, but ho did even better. He came on the empty platform carrying not too negligently a can of beer. In lieu of a long-winded speech from a chairman, Mr. Belloc took an occasional hearty draught. And every time he did it his proletarian audience cheered him in whole-hearted sympathy. WORLD’S SMALLEST MICROBE. The report of the Medical Research Council for last year does not indicate that the farmer has much hope in the near future of being relieved from that most terrible scourge among his cattle, foot and mouth disease. Research work on the virus has, however, resulted in a determination of the size of the infective units in a number of strains. The strains have been adapted to the infection of guinea-pigs, and three types of the virus are known, and distinguishable from one another, by the fact that recovery from an attack by any one of them leaves the animal immune from renewed infection by that one, but not immune from the others. The greatest difficulty in the research is presented by the extreme minuteness of the virus particles, which are smaller than those of any other virus infecting animals which has yet been subjected to measurement. They are, in fact, so minute that there appears to be doubt as to whether they may be regarded as living organisms. Certainly they are far below the range of any method of microscopic demonstration which can yet be foreseen. HOPE FOR MINERS. It has now been definitely settled that the new oil-from-coal system is to be given a trial at Sheffield, where special plant is to be erected for that purpose. This decision follows recent negotiations between the Italian scientist who is the inventor and Midland colliery proprietors. If the undertaking proves a success from the business point of view, which is merely a question of efficient working and economical processes, we shall see a big extension of the idea in other coal centres. This will undoubtedly give a much needed fillip to our basic industry, and should help materially to reduce unemployment in the coal pits. I believe the minimum figure is an additional 20,000,000 tons of coal that will be required to supply the oil demand. TAXI! I like the story of Sir Thomas Beecham and the fur coat. Sir Thomas was wearing the coat, and walking to a London engagement, when a sudden change in the weather made such a heavy garment oppressive. So he called a taxi, threw the coat inside, and told the driver to follow him to a concert hall. But even better is the story I got from a taxi-driver one foggy night. He had picked up an old gentleman who was lost in the fog, and was told to drive to a Battersea fiat. In the Albert Bridge Road, which is a mile long, the fog was so bad that even the taxi-driver could not see his way; so that nice old gentleman got out, walked just in front of the taxi’s bonnet, and piloted it by voice all the way to his flat door. There he paid his fare, and said good-night, without a moment’s reflection that he had walked home.

SUPERSTITION. I wonder whether it is really true that women are the gentler sex. Their traditional reputation in that direction may, after all, be merely a survival of chivalrous superstition. Women played a pretty sanguinary role round the French Terror’s guillotine, and woman’s inhumanity to woman occasionally transcends man’s to his fellow man. Take the present fashionable vogue of all-in wrestling, still drawing crowds at pseudo night-clubs in London. The big, half-nude wrestlers use all the illegal grips known to science, and it is the women in evening dress whose cries of amusement and delight are most heard. Yet mon who frequent boxing displays sometimes find an all-in wrestling match rather upsetting. In the days of ancient Rome, when a gladiator was “down” in the circus it was perhaps the matrons whose thumbs gave the death signal. HEMPIRE PREFERENCE. The Dominions Secretary, I suspect, goes out of his way to juggle with aspirates. There is something ’omely about the habit that evidently appeals to “Jimmy” Thomas. Curiously enough the only member who criticises him on the failing across the floor of the House is Mr. Jack Jones, who is himself none too particular about the refinement of his speech. In the written word Mr. Thomas’ lapses from “refined” pronunciation are, of course, not apparent but in a recent debate Mr. Jack Jones succeeded in drawing attention to the Minister’s failing in such a way as to get it officially recorded in Hansard. The discussion was on Empire preference, and Mr. Jones, as reported in Hansard, asked the Dominions Secretary if certain things should be allow-ed “to come in free because they come from countries which happen to be members of the Empire—with a big accent on the H? I cannot pronounce it as well as the Dominions Secretary.” That the House disapproved of Mr. Jones’ sarcasm is further indicated in the official report by a dash, and the italicised word “interruption.” EDGAR NODS. The high-brow critics tell us that Edgar Wallace will not long survive as a literary figure. They are probably correct. Edgar Wallace did not write for fame but for fortune. Incidentally he achieved his ambition a good deal better than the highbrow literary people often do. Though he sometimes forgot his heroine’s name, or his hero’s Park Lane address, his writing was, for a man who made no pretension at all to be “literary,” extremely good terse English. A sporting journalist tells me, however, that Edgar Wallace sometimes got badly mixed in some of his racing sketches. In one play he makes the jockey and owner of a disputed Ascot race turn up at the Jockey Club inquiry, a week later, the former still in his Ascot riding kit and the latter with his Ascot rosette still in his button-hole. SAVING 1000 YEARS. An expert on the construction of Sydney’s new harbour bridge has just calculated that SO trains and 6000 vehicles will be able to cross the bridge’s four rail tracks and 57-foot roadway in each direction each hour. Forty . thousand people will be able to walk across the footways in one hour, and he estimates that. 42,000,000 people, or their equivalent in pedestrian journeys, will cross the bridge in the first year. If each of these people saved one minute per journey on the time taken by ferry, the aggregate saving would be about SO years. Actually the saving per journey is estimated at 12. minutes, so that in a year Sydney’s population will save about 1000 years,

BRING FORTH YOUR GOLD! The activity of the gold-diggers ajK pears to be as great in India as it iS here these days, and we are now tolq that the gold output from that country exceeds that of South Africa. So long as sovereigns are saleable at 27s 6di and bangles at proportionate rates, thq flow will doubtless continue. It ig amusing, however, to observe how erectly the powers-that-'be are keeping a blind eye upon the transactions. 1 have a recollection that somewhere oq other on our Statute Book there arej clauses which'refer to the illegality trailing gold sovereigns for more tflani their face value. The Government, ofj course, is offering no official encourages ment to the Press propaganda which going on, and buyers use discretion- inj the way they advertise. One dealer in| London, however, has resorted to broads casting his desire to buy gold. In the’ middle of a concert from Antwerp, tq which I was listening the other night, I was surprised to hear a very English voice announcing that Messrs. So-andq. so, of — Street, London, were. willing to give the best prices for gold article! and coin of any description. EXOTIC URGE. How true it is that one man’s meafi is another’s poison. The following apepears to-day in the “Agony” columg of a London daily:—Large.Tiger VVante ed. Engineering firm want to buy live! Bengal tiger. Should be as large and; savage as possible, Man-eater red. Or would hire for a few months, No cruelty. Full particulars to—. ,On< would hardly associate a fierce urge likq that with a prosaic business address iq Holborn. What did it mean? Werq ■ they tired of the office boy. or merely taking precautionary measufet againstj callers anxious to demonstrate a new[ vacuum cleaner? Inquiry elicited, however, that-the outsize tiger is -wanted for a motoring experiment by Mr. Geon Eyston, the record-breaking drivsr. j I.