CURRENT COMMENT

Taranaki Daily News, 17 October 1931, Page 13 (Supplement)

CURRENT COMMENT

OTHER POINTS OF VIEW

('By

M.O.S.)

London, Oct. 1. The Bishop of Birmingham, Dr. Barnes, In an address to the British Association, said he had no doubt that there were inhabitants in other worlds whose mental level was immeasurably beyond that of the people on the earth. ‘lt would be rash to deny that these people could use radiation sufficiently penetrating to convey messages to the earth. When such messages could be read a new era for humanity would begin. There would begin a strenuous correspondence course with the stars. The Earth, January 1, 1932. To the Managing Director, The Cosmos. Dear Sir, We are given to understand that you are advertising a series of correspondence lessons for the instruction of ithe less enlightened peoples of other •worlds. We would like to remind you that The Earth is a small hut rather important planet in the Universe, which emerged into solid form about 100,000,000 years ago. The centre of control is Europe, which was in a state of raw savagery a few hundreds of years ago. though we may say we had older civilisations among the Egyptians, (Phoenicians, Greeks and Romans. At the present time we have evolved a new type of civilisation which was loudly hailed a few years ago as the harbinger of peace and prosperity upon Earth. Since then we have had a World War, world' wide unemployment, and world wide financial failure. In view of this state of affairs we are applying to you for guidance to a way out of our troubles. Would you •kindly enrol us on your list of students at the usual fee. Yours faithfully, The People. • • • * The Cosmos, February 1, 1932. To The People, The Earth. ■Sirs, Your favour of the Ist. ult. to hand. I very much regret the delay in acknowledging your message, but my staff had considerable difficulty in locating your whereabouts. 1 regret to inform you that you were not marked on the official map of The Cosmos at all. That troiible has been remedied, and I can assure you that in future editions of the map , your name will appear, though you will realise that your territory itself is a shade too small to be indicated even by the smallest dot at the map-maker's disposal. , In accordance with your instructions I have enrolled your pame on my list of students and am considering your case. You will hear from me again as soon as I have any constructive suggestions to make. Yours faithfully, , . The Director. ,•• • • The (People, The Earth. ' Sirs, The necessary data now having been, placed before me, I find myself in a position to outline a course of instruction. It is possible that you will find the course difficult, ibut I would remind you that perseverance means success. The course touches upon measures for shelter against the economic blizzard through which you are passing, and includes measures for the future stability of your World. (Briefly, it includes lessons on the following lines; 1. The Cancellation of War Debts. Necessity thereof. Benefits accruing. 2. The Even Distribution of Gold. (Fallacy of Hoarding. 3. World Tariff Barriers. Harmful restrictions upon Trade. Interference with the Law of Supply and Demand. 4. Armament Reductions. System of World Police, by Land, Sea and Air. 5. Capital and Labour. Merging of Interests. 6. Over-Population. (Benefits of 'Birth Control. 7. National Hatreds. Abolition thereof. Yours faithfully, The Director. Memo: The Director. Enclosed please find answers to examination papers. The People. •*' * • Memo: The People. I regret to inform you that in the last test you gained only 40 per cent. There is little value in students continuing the course unless they make better progress than this. The Director. • ♦ • • The Director, The .Cosmos. Dear Sir, We are happy to report that under your tuition we are at last making (satisfactory progress and feel that in a short time we shall have completed the course both to your satisfaction and ours. The 'People. • • * * The People, ... The Earth. Sirs. I am much gratified by your progress. The course is now concluded. I have the pleasure of informing you that you are now, as nearly as possible, g, Perfect Earth. • £ ■ - The Director. '•♦ * * Twelve Months Later. '' The Director, / The Cosmos. Dear Sir, i For a whole year now we have lived as a Perfect Earth. These 12 months have been the most laboriously dull in our whole existence. You gave us no hint of the boredom we should have to endure. We feel that you are partly responsible. Can you help us to find satisfaction? The People. • • ♦ * The People. The Earth. Sirs, I am in receipt of your favour of the 15th. inst. I have noted the substance of your remarks and have the honour to inform you that I am arranging for your Earth to pass through the tail of a Comet. I have arranged that in your passage you shall strike a heavenly body considerably larger and faster than your own. Trusting this will meet with your satisfaction as much as it does with mine, 1 am, The Director, i V ffpsmfts. ]