CURRENT COMMENT

Taranaki Daily News, 1 August 1931, Page 1 (Supplement)

CURRENT COMMENT

OTHER JOINTS' OF VIEW

(By

- M. O . S .)

A Corner In Beer? , Taranaki is said to be noted for the astuteness of the men on its local bod- ' ies. And so it would seem. “The engineer also reported at length,” said a Press account of a meeting of the HaWcra Borough Council on Monday, oh • the technicalities concerned in the proposal to build a pond 'below the brewery.” That’s the worst. of being ignorant of these technicalities. Simple we, well all we knew about that. extra Cd a gallon was when we sav it in the paper yesterday .morning. And what we say is, we think the council might have let us in on the scheme too, even if it was only collecting the left-over from the brewery. • ■ ’/ » The Lay of the; Last Minstrel. I love my bread and my. silver mint; The eockies love I must. But the kind of love I can’t abide Is the love of a millers’ tryst. • • ■» • A tragic report was received yesterday that John Citizen was dead. At every corner along Devon Street knots of people were dully discussing the awful . tragedy. Inquiries were at once instituted. “And who killed. John Citizen?” “Why, I,” said George Forbes, Unless I misjudge it, ‘ _■ With my little Budget, I killed John Citizen.” “And who saw him"die?” “Why; we,” said the Duties On Tea and on Booties On Beer, Wine and Sugar, Art Unions and Laager, On Smoking and Drinking, And almost .on Thinking, “We killed John Citizen.” ' And in deference to poor John Citizen this suggested that the music week programme. be re-arranged to open with ’ “Requiem.” ' For .tile sake of those who had put aside their wireless in despair and con- . sequenfrly missed, it, we publish the following amended version of . an elocutionary item that was broadcast from Station 2YB, New Plymouth, last Saturday night: — ... . ; • Been tuning in all afternoon But gave up in-despair, ißeen trying to get a football match Which wasn’t on the aii. ■So rang up Station’2 YB, ■■ .; And asked for information. They said, “My boy, we’re not allow- " > ed, : : / - ■ ■■ ■ . . ' ■. ' \ It’s barred 'by regulation.” , You could have 'knocked me down, yer could, ■ Me'breath just'came in patches. ■ To hear them say, “We’re not allowed To broadcast football matches.” Somehow I .always held the view The T.R.U. comi»ittee Was human folks like me and you, . ’What had a 'bit of pity. And ever since I’ve been a kid ' l‘ve handed out me sugar To swell the funds of T.R.U., And see the game of rugger. But now it seems they’re hard as . ' flint, ■ . ■ . And “Gate's” are their obsession, And so they make another rule ' To add to the depression. We’ve had our cuts of Ten per Cent., and unemployment, levy, . And by the time we get our pay, It isn’t extra heavy. / ’ Then just when we are down and out, Because the world’s gone mad, They’ve handed out the dirty left To make things twice as bad. And now I know just what they’ve . . ... done, ' Me heart’s begun to harden, - I’ll keep me money in me kick, / And work about the garden. I’ll have to sharpen up me spade, And do some diggin’ in, - Sesin’' I haven’t hoot to go, , And cannot listen in. But still I’ve got me health and strength, ' And muscles strong and tireless, I’ll make me garden 'bigger still, . And sell me -bloomin’ wireless. ■ •,* e * '• ■ Stand 'by, please, for the Children’s Hour. Now then, all you little radio listeners in various parts of Taranaki, we will have the birthdays. _on Tuesday, as you know, it was the fiftieth birthday of the Hawera County, and a lovely birthday party was held in the afternoon, when everyone told everyone else what they used to do when they were boys, and how hard, they used to work and how much better the people used to be in those days than they are now. But it 1 was very jolly bringing out the old toys and that sort of thing. The toy that Hawera County used to like best when it was young was a thing called a toll-gate, which we don’t have nowadays. The toll-gate was kept at Inaha, and every time anyone came along they liked it so much that they used to give the owner some money in order to be allowed to go through it. And the toll gate was so valuable that although some naughty people burnt it up once. and a few other people rode over it in their cars or on their motor ibikes its owner built it again. In the end, when the young County grew up, the toll-gate was put away. On working it out they found the gate was worth £25,000. But that is by the way for there is smother anniversary to a.nounce and another £20,000 to tell you about. This, however, is rather a sad little story. The most important, birthday to-day, at you may know, is that of the First z Train from New Plymouth to Hawera,. which strangely enough is also exactly fifty years of age. Many happy returns, Puff-Puff, and may you have many friends with you every time you return! We hear you are pretty sick ’ just at. present, and are sorry we haveno nice'presents for you. AH our money was given to your cousin, the Auckland railway station, who received £1,500,000 and eleven electric clocks. Mr. Wilkinson was awfully annoyed about it. However,, if you look in the coal box when you get to Ta Poti you will find a sum of £20,000. Unfortunately that is not for you. That is the maintenance you have to pay to your brother, the Opunake Train, every year, whether he is working for you or not. But never mind; it can’t be helped. He is one of that unfortunate class known as Political Trains, and they arc all the same. They never pay. Closing down now. Cheerio, everybody.