TO RAISE A LAUGH

Taranaki Daily News, 29 November 1930, Page 20 (Supplement)

TO RAISE A LAUGH

(Sent by Leslie Pauling.) Boots: Are you the gentleman who wanted to be awakened to catch the early train ? Guest;' Yes. 'Boots: Then you can go/ to sleep again; you’ve missed it. Jimmy: Boohoo, I dreamed our school had closed down. •. Mummy: Never mind, it hasn’t really. Jimipy: I know, that’s why I’m crying-. " (Sent by Joan Allen.) ' > Stranger: Does Mr. Smith live in this street? Bill: Yes, sir. Stranger: What is his number? Bill: I don’t know, but you will find it on his door. Reggie: Why did you have your gloves dry-cleaned, Mum? ■/- Mother: Water would spoil them. Reggie: May I have my face drycleaned? (Sent by Vera Ellis.) Sunday School Teacher: Bobbie, what happens to a man who never thinks of his soul, but only of his body? Bobbie: He gets fat, sir. Can you tell me how many sides io a ball, Tom? Certainly, Jack. It has two, the outside and the inside. When is a horse not a horse?—When it is turned into a field. We always have a west wind here, sir. But the wind is blowing from the east now! ■■ Oh, that’s the west wind coming back. Bobby, throwing stones in pool: Oil, Uncle, the stones I throw in the water hit the bullseye of the ripple every time. I should say four letters if I. saw you sating a nice plum cake. Oh, what are they? I.N.V.U. (I envy you.) (Sent by Rena Knox.)’ Teacher: Now, Johnny, what three words do pupils use most? Johnny: I don’t know. Teacher.: Correct. (Sent by Melvyn Sole.)’ Mother; Betty, darling, you musn’t scratch your nose -with a spoon. ( Betty- Sorry,- mummy, I suppose I ought to have used a fork. Dicky: Please, mother said will you fill the can. / Milkman: With pleasure, sonny. Dicky: No, with milk. Johnny, with his feet sprawled out in the aisle, was sitting at his desk ii - dustriously chewing gum. Teacher( severely): Johnny! Take that gum out f your mouth and put your feet in! . (Sent by Elsie Proud.) Mr. Bennet is a bright and well-pre-served gentleman, • but to his little grand-daughter, Mabel, he seems very old indeed. One day she asked: Grandpa, were you id the Ark? Why no, my.dear! gasped her astonished, grandfather.. Mabel’s eyes grew large and round with astonishment. “Then, why weren’t you drowned?” she demanded.