HUMORS OF A BARBER'S SHOP.

Taranaki Daily News, Volume LII, Issue 173, 14 August 1909, Page 3

HUMORS OF A BARBER'S SHOP.

BALD MEN WHO WANT THEIR HAIR CURLED.

A3 a field for observing and studying human nature said one of the frier", mty to the writer, it is not easy to beat i- t T u et * The wriofc ol types to endless They range from the mean, gloomy individual who begrudges threepence for a hair cut, and considers the ; locks llc eaves behind sufficient tip for 111 'l t vi he S"r<ilo U s gas-bag whose chm acts like a switch-back; from the fop who goes out smelling like a scentshop to the working man who wants a close crop and no bloomin' partinV And then there is the young customer who has heard that constant shaving is a good whisker-developer, and pays me a daily visit, although he has no more down on his face than can be found on »n egg-shell, and the ever-hopeful baldIhead, who spends a sinall fortune on hair-restorers, and gives me a nightmare trying to think how to arrange his fringe to the best advantage. "HEDGEHOG BRISTLES." One bald-headed customer of mine had a tonsure like an old-time monk. Viewed Irom above, it looked like a bladder of lard in a sea of hedgehog bristles. The most liberal application of grease and brilliantine would not make his hair . presentable. I w,is almost in despair, when one day he came into the shop positively beaming. "I've got it," he said, excitedly. "I will have my hair frizzled and curled. It's the fashion, isn't it?" I remarked that many men wore cur'v hair but it curled naturally, and was seldom seen on a man over forty (he was sixty). Put he would not be denied, and had Ins hair curled like a girl. He looked a funny sight, but seemed quite pleased that his few remaining hairs were no. longe r straight. CRANKS ON PARTINGS. ' It is' a curious thing that almost every man has ideas about how hie hair should be parted. The worst of it is that some of them are never satisfied with one way. One man who used to come into my shop was a positive crank on hair partings. He would have me comb his hair in the regular fashion. Then, looking at himself in the glare, lie -would- pass his thand through his hair, disarranging the parting and leaving some hairs standing one way and some another. Then he would study the effect. Sometimes I combed his hair over a dozen times for him. to diearrange again before he would be pleased. I endured it fo r a time, but when he wanted to carry on the game while half-a-dozen other customers were waiting, I gently but firmly told him thstt he must settle on the style he wanted his Mr dressed before coming into the shop. He took umbrage, and I lost a customer who was certainly amusing but far from profitable. ARE MEN VAIN?

I was amused the other day by the title of an article written by a lady and published in a certain daily. It was called, '-Are Men Vain?'' Oh, what a tale barbers could unfold regarding exhibitions of masculine vanity! You sneer at women who dye their hair. What of the men who dye their locks to match their moustaches and vice versa! And what of the followers of fashion who change the style of their moustaches every month or so? When the craze for the Kaiser-like up turned moustache first started, young men practised all sorts of dodges in order to cultivate the style, and it was only with the utmost difficulty that I was able to keep from laughing outright when a customer asked me if the desired effect could be obtained if he connected both ends by a piece of tape passed lightly over his head while in bed. It was almost as bad as the customer who had a great ambition to cultivate a long moustache, and suggested, in all seriousness, that the growth might be increased by connecting the ends with a string passed round the baek of his neck. THE TERRIBLE TWINS. ;

It will be a long time, however, before' 1 forget the twin brothers who patronised my shop until a short time ago. They were alike as two peas, except that the hair of one was of a darker shade than that of the other. Therefore they had their hair dyed identical colors, and, possessing a mischievous delight in being mistaken for one another, always visited me together in order that their moustaches and hair might be dressed exactly alike. They would then leave the shop, only to return in a few minutes, however and defy ine to tell who was John and who was Charlie. And more often than not I made a mistake.

Customc-.s who will sit only in one particular chair, or will onlv permit a particular assistant to operate on them,' arc fairly common. The hygienic faddist, however, is our special'bugbear. I have had customers who insisted on bringing their own shaving brush, soap, and towel, and taking them away again. in order that there should be no" danger of them being used for other folks. Why they did not learn to shave themselves and thus save their time and money I could never understand.

REHEARSALS IX A BARBER'S SIIOP. And while there are customers who require you to cut their hair or shave them in the shortest possible time, there are others who, if you do the'job quickly, think the barber has not earned his money. I once had a customer who considered that his hair could not be properly cut under half an hour, and he would not leave the chair until the thirty minutes had passed. Needless to say, I charged according to time. I think, however, that the most* amusing experience of my life—at the time, however, it seemed a serious matterwas when a certain popular actor first patronised my shop. I did not know who or what he was when he came in one day and asked me to trim his hair. I was just about to commence, when I saw reflected in the mirror a most dial boheal-looking face. I 6 to o d amazed, 'gazing at the mirror, aud as I did so the expression on the face changed to a horrible leer. I was just thinking that 1 had got a madman in the chair, when the face changed again to a more pleasant expression. "All right, barber, go ahead," said the man in the chair; "I was only trviii" some facial contortions for my new part."

It was then I learnt that he was one of the mo«t popular of stage villains.— Tit-Bits'.