LORD ROSSMORE'S STORIES.

Colonist, Volume LIV, Issue 13568, 8 November 1912, Page 3

LORD ROSSMORE'S STORIES.

The character of Lord Rossmoro scorns to bo pretty faithfully depicted in tho story of his interviow with the "crammer" /who was to prepare him for tho Army examination. "You seem to bo a nice sort of man," said the candidate, "and so I think I ought to you that I strongly advise you uof to take mo in here.,l'll not bring you any credit; I've not worked for the last

year, and I know next to nothing."

"By jove," said the "coach," "you're truthful, anyway, and I like you for it. Look here, will you work now?"

"Like a slave,"said the young man, and he did, and passed his examination.

Lord Rossmore gives an entertaining sketch of his father-in-law, a woalthy sportsman, who would spend £300,000 on a property, but would walk some distance to save a farthing on a box of pills. On the day that Lord Rossmoro won the City and Suburban Handicap, ho wont to this gentleman to ask for his daughter's hand. "I found the old man lying on the sofa grousing over himself and pretending to bo very ill

I greeted him by saying, 'How are you ? I've won the City and Suburban. He huddled himself up and Just grunted by way of an answer. Said I, 'Ivo come to ask you to allow me to marry your daughter; that's'why I'm hei'e.' 'Go away, Rossmore,' ho replied, in feverish accents, 'I tell you I'm far too ill to discuss theose sort of things.' But suddenly his sporting instincts overcame his grumpiness, and he jumped up like a two-year-old, saying as he did so, 'But have you really won tho City and Suburban ?" ,

There is a delightful story of another sporting character, Sir John Ashley, who had his watch stolen at Epsom on Derby Day. Sir John went to "the head pocket," with whom he was acquainted, and laid a complaint. According to Sir John's version of the incident, the man blushed. "Good Lord, you don't mean it, Sir John," he stammered. "Will you 'aye the goodness to wait 'ere, I'll be back in a jiffy." He was back in three minutes with the watch, which ho handed over, saying most humbly as he did so, "I 'oue, Sir John, you'll accept the apologies of the 'ole fraternity. It was quite a mistake, and it was done by a noo beginner."

Students of Irish peasant life may appreciate the' story of the Monaghan man who said that he..was most particular about the freshness of the fish he ate, and explained how ho tested it. "I have a very clever dog. who is also fond of fresh fish, and often (if I'm suspicious) I give him a bis. If the baste ates it I ate it, but if he/ rolls on it I utterly discard it." \

Irisli humour is iUustratedt in the story (perhaps apocryphal) of Mrs Gladstone's address to tho electors in which she explained that it was she who had convinced Mr. Gladstone of the necessity for Home Rule. Mr. Gladstone had told her that he was persuaded, and, continued the lady, "I got up from my chair, put my arms, round his neck and gave him a loving, wifely kiss." In the pause that followed this impressive confession an Irishman spoke: "And it sawed-' the owld beggar perfectly right." . \