PARISH HUMOUR.

Colonist, Volume LII, Issue 12765, 11 April 1910, Page 4

PARISH HUMOUR.

o In a clergyman's intimate relations with his flock there ' must be many humorous incidents, if he has the gift to see them, whioh might wel lmake many an interesting book reminiscence A few that the Rev. Stewart Bernays has 'collected in the "Cornhill" are well worth repeating. "A woman in a parish where I lived used each day to prepare herself for the worst. I was complimenting her oue day on the extreme tidiness of the house even oarly in the morning. " 'Yes,' she rvid, '1 always likes to 'aye my bedrooms done hearly, for, as I alius sez, you never knows what may 'appen ; 'ow soon one of the children may be brought 'ome in a •fit or with a broken leg, and, as I alius se/., it don't matter what 'appens so long as you've got a bedroom to put 'em'-into.' ' "The compliments that one meets with are sometimes as strangely phrased as they are generally little deserved. On my leaving a curacy, an old friend of mine said: 'Well, I be sorry you're going, for T did 'ope you would 'aye died 'ere'— which was certainly more than I did. "But in the way of testimonials, the one which I prize the most was received from a certain bishop. He was famous for the infelicitous way he had of putting things. I wrote to tell him I was leaving the diocese, and to thank him for his kindness to me. His reply was short and I trust not to the point : 'Dear Sir, — I am sorry you are leaving my diocese, for I have never heard anything against you. Yours faithfully, .' This at least was a negative kind of testimonial wliich might be useful to some of us. "My vicar was leaving at the same time, and I was accompanying him to his new" parish. He fared very little better at his bishop's hands. 'Well, ' you and I havo not always seen eye' to eye, but I might well get a worse man.' So, with 'this episcopal blessing, we migrated to another diocese. "I once attended a mayoral banquet in a provincial town at which the vicar, who had newly arrived, was present. An alderman was put up to propose his health, and was very anxious to pay a wellrdeserved compliment to the new vicar's popularity and this was his. manner of doing it: "'Mr. Major, our new vicar has not been long in making himself liked by all of us. As I was remarking the other day to some friends, it's a good thing that our vicar has not got the face of our Adonis, or we sliould have to look out for our wives and daughters.' "