OUR TRAWL NET.

Colonist, Volume LII, Issue 12769, 10 February 1910, Page 1

OUR TRAWL NET.

r • • 1 o 5 The Lady: "But why have you left I your other positions so often t"' The • Would be Cook: "Please, ma'am, because I've nine brothers, four of 'em policemen ,aud none of the mistrosses'll believe that they're my broth- ' era!" Farmer Barnes: "I've bought a barometer, Hannah, to tell when it's going to rain, yo know." Mrs. Barnes: "To tell when it's goin' to rain! Why, I never heard o' such extravagance;\\Vhat do yd s'pose th' — *■■ Lord has given ye th' rheumatiz for?" Old Gent: "I'm thinking of taking a house in the neighbourhood. Perhaps you can inform me if the water supply is all right " Beery Rustic: "Eh, mon, the supply's all right, but the demand ain't equal to it." Cumso: "The doctor says I must take plenty of exercise. I don't know whether to try Indian clubs or dumbbells." Mrs. Cumso: "I wish you would come out with me and wheel the perambulator a little way." Cumso: "Uml no, Maria, I don't want to overdo the thing at first, you know." "May," said a certain little girl's mamma, "there were two pieces of cake in the pantry, and now there is only oue. How did it happen?" "Well," said the child, her eyes wido open with excitement, "it was so dark ' iii there I didn't see the other piece." "Insomnia," remarked the old bachelor boarder, "is evidently contagious." "Haw do you figure that out?" queried the medical student. "1 havo noticed," explained the boarder, "that when our next door neighbour's dog can't sleep I can't either," The Parson : "I intend to pray that you may forgive Casey for throwing that brick at you." The Patient: "Mebbe yer xiv'rence 'ud be. saving toime if ye'd just wait till Oi get well and then pray for Casey." A way of deciding dates of certain, important events is suggested by the following anecdote from "Lippincott's." Tho parents of an under grad were disputing as to the date of their last letter to their "hopeful,"from whom, somewhat to tho distress of the mother, they had not heard for some timo, "Are you sure, Thomas," said tho mother, unconvinced, "that it was on the 12th that you last wrote to Dick?" "Absolutely!" was the father's decisive response. "I looked it up in my cheque-book this morning." A certain young fellow in Kettering has ..-got the* parrot's complaint — - he talks.too much. And this is how it let him down, a cropper at an important interview. "You love my daughter?" said the old man. "Love her!" he exclaimed passionately; "why, I would die for her! For one soft glance from those sweet eyes I would hurl myself from yonder cliff and perish, a bleeding bruised mass, upon the rocks two hundred feet below." The old man shook hie head. "I'm something of a liar myself," he said "and one is enough in a small family like mine."