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Colonist, Volume XXVI, Issue 3481, 14 June 1882, Page 3

Colonel Hamlet, author of " The Battle bf Dorking/ has just published Another work of the same class entitled '' How John Bull lost London," being a skit upon the suffering arising from a French invasion of England by means of the Channel tunnel. : ; The "fancy" fayre at Sfc Mary's pro-Cathedral in Sydney returned gross receipts to the amount of £7767 19s Id, and the net balance in aid of the Cathedral fund was £5752 4s lid. ; News from Sydney states that a new process has been initiated at Cobar by Mr Vautin to expel foreign matters from copper, (,and increase the Cobar output by at least £14,000 sterling yearly. Mr Vautin has already succeeded with the process at Nymagee.In reply to Mr Graen, Mr Hursthpuse arose speaking very well. He occupies a unique position. He is a strong party man. To gain his seat he bad to pledge himself against the Ministry; But the Hall Ministry baa retired and he wishes to support the Hall Ministry that remains. He was helping the whips this afternoon, and no one in the House has any doubt as to how he will vote, and yet he cannot go boldly into the Ministerial camp in ease his constituents are offended. He told Mr Green if he wished to do any good he would have to put his ' conscience in his pocket ' and join a party. Thia means Mr Hursthouse has put his there, and his pledges as well, and joined the Government party. —' Dunedin Echo.' The ' Yankers Gazette ' thinks that not only did man spring from the ape, but that some men haven't sprung very far. Sir Geoege Geey's Constitution Amendment Bill, which is just circulated, simply provides for the reference to a plebiscite of any measure passed by 1 one branch of the Legislature but rejected by the other. It is considered likely that the Bill will be carried. Smart Work.—A mass of pig.iron | Was cast at Irondale, one d&y recently and the next morning, in the shape of twenty-penny nails, formed a part of a building in course of construction in Chicago. This is supposed to be the quickest work of the kind on record. Overjoyed.—Eighteen years of incessant headache were endured by Andrew J. Miller, of Warren, Ky. Surgeons lately raised part of his skull and thus relieved the pressure which had caused the trouble. He was warned to stay quietly indoors for a month, but he was too jubilant over his freedom from suffering to obey, and went on a Bpree, which caused his death. Paris was recently visited by a tre- j inendouß hurricane. In Boma quarters the fall of slate?, lead, ehutters, and chimney-pots was so continuous that' it was thought prudent to barricade the' streets. ' One fatal casualty*occurred just before dusk from the falling of an old tree iv the garden of the Tuillerifiß. This struck to the ground a lady walking near ;the entrance to the Solferino Bridge. She was taken to 'the Hospital in an unconsciouscondition, and died immediately after her arrival. .~, , The origin of the smallpox in Melbourne has been traced by a reporter of the 'World' to Greenaborough Village near Melbourne, where, the disease existed ten years ayo, when a quantity of clothes worn by , tha patients were buried. Southon, the fat hoi* of the , girl.'attacked, = while digging, turned up some clothes and handled them, after which hV communicated with his daughter; '

Smith was Out.— The r' Detroit Free Press' says:—A Griswold-atreet lawyer w^ia sitting in his office the other week, when a stranger appeared at the door and aaid " Beg pardon, but can you tell me where Smith's office is ? " " Tea sir; next 'door." *" %» stranger uttered his thanks and passed to the next door, which was locked. Returning to the lawyer he observed, " Smith... seems to be out."—•• Of course he is. If you had asked that; question in the first place I should have answered it by telling you so." The visitor had a troubled look on his face as he passed out of the building, but that look was gone when he returned next day, and inquired of the awyer,; " Btowfiniich will you charge me for ai verbal opinion in a little matter ? "—" Oh, about five dollars." The case was stated, aod the opinion given, and the stranger was moving away, when the lawyer said, " My fee, please."—'-I haven't a- cent to pay you !"—« Youhaven't! "—v Of course not. If you had asked that question in the first place I should have answered. by telling you so. Good morning, sir." Little Johnny's Contjndbum. — "Mum," said littly Johnny Periwinkle the other day, addressing his maternal parent,,? what does astheticjnean ? I heard Mrs;;''JMobby:] Bayipes'^ay that you was a disciple of their aathetic school.'—' JEsthetic, my son,' said Mrs Periwinkle, as she dashed Mr Periwinkle's red flannel shirt out of the vvashboiier> *is anUxtreme love of the beautiful; the too, too utterly intense allbutness of everything that is lovely. Oh! she exclaimed, cjapping her hands rupturouslyi how' divine is this noble science ?' '• Well, mum,' said Johnny, 'I've got a {esthetic conundrum for yer. What's the difference between this nutl'raholdin', in my haud and a A No.||aluteft*biii^ a William goat. Give'erju| ? Wbjj, one is a butter-nut and the other is ah utter butt. See ?"—Johnny studied 1 the science of the beautiful' in the woodshed.—'Detriot .Free Press.' TheDoctob and the Lawiteb.—A smart young sprig of a lawyer had a grave old doctor on the witness stand in a case of assault and battery and he questioned him unmercifully. 'Ah, Doctor,' inquired the lawyer, c did I understand you to say the cut in the man's head was dangerous ?' * Yea sir,, replied the doctor. ' Well, Doctor, dbsen?t it sometimes happen that even a less cut than this one is dan* gerous?' >' Yes, sir.' ' And, Doctor, is it not true that even a scratch is dangerous ?' • Yes, sir, and I have , known of cases resulting fatally when not even a scratch was visible. Only recently a man died uuder such circum* stances.' 'Ah, indeed,' quickly put in the attorney in a pleased arid satisfied way,' will you ba kind enough to tsll the jury the facts?' * Certainly, if you desire it.' ' You say there was not a scratch on him?' ' Wot one that I could find.' ' And he died ?' •« Yes.' ' Now, Doctor, just tell the jury how it was., * W ell, you see, he. had the colic and he was dead before I could get him untangled.' The young attorney called another witness. The Queen's Bench has had before it the report of one of the Masters upon the proceedings of Mr W. H. Brown, a polictor. It was shown that he had received money amounting to I upwards of £17,000 from various clients to invest for them, but that he had applied the money to his own purposes; and when bis affairs went into liquidation his estate only paid 53 in the pound. In ordering that his name should be struck off the rolls, Mr Justica Grove said the punishment which was the greatest they could inLfliet, was inadequate. Murder oca Bailiff in Limerick. —A terrible murder was committed at 'Clover-field, near Kilteely, county Limerick, on April 18, the victim Kichard Roche, aged about 63, aod a bailiff in ' the employment of the Emergergency Committee. Roche was residing with some other men in a small house off.the public road, and was last seen alive at about eleven o'clock on the'night of April 17. Nothing more was heard of Roche until next jnorniug, when word was brought tp the police barracks that he was lying dead on the road, having been shot in the heart. Koche was in charge of a farm from which a tenant in the neighborhod was recently evicted. .; / A bathke good story is told by a German paper. The servant of a newly married wife of a Berlin Banker had remarked that regularly every afternoon-; <in the absence of Frau—'s husband, a shabby-looking individual, ugly, ill-bred, and suspic'ous, called at the house and remained closeted with j her mistress for an hour. Suspecting some intrigue, she^ one day listened at the keyhole, and was horrified to hear a voice say, * Kiss me,' and another apparently replying to the tender invj-, tation by playfully exclaiming, 'Oh yoil Don Juan! you good for nothing!' The next time that shabby man called, the servant'managed to let the, husband 'know. A violent • sfeehe! between the 'happy pair ' was the coneequeuce. The presence of the suspicious visitor, however, was soon and satisfactorily explained. He was a bird fancier, who had been requested by the gushing .bride, to--;Je^,cl^ a-gfew amorous phrases to a pet parrot, with which she * intended Her husband on his birthday. Very Ger.man, isn't it ? Worst Ora-rT^JMs} stated "in the 'Literary Churchman - thaV theie are no less than 23 retired colonial bishops now in England, the last one on tne list being Dr Bomby, from Tasmania.