"SNIDER" WANTS TO CUT A FIGURE— AND MAKES A MESS OF IT. –

Colonist, Volume XVI, Issue 1162, 22 August 1873, Page 4

"SNIDER" WANTS TO CUT A FIGURE— AND MAKES A MESS OF IT. -

Maott persons have asked me that I should write a history of my life, but I have always declined, as I have no wish to cause the shedding of tears, and the narrative of which would excite so much sympathy that there wouldn't be a bit of feeling left; for anyone else. Refusing to give my life, which was all that my maternal parent was able to bestow, I think I may improve the occasion, although what occasion I hare not the least idea, if I .relate a brief episode in it. Once upon a time I was in very humble circumstances. I was doing a small line of business, but was living happy and contented with my lot. I I paid all that I owed, and it was only after a time I saw the error of my ways. People used to remark of me that Mr. Snyder was a very decent, respectable sort of a man, but he didn't seem to* get on somehow • he had no push in him, and his habits of economising seemed to merge almost into meanness. It was only once in a way I got an invitation out to tea, but to dinner never. At last I determined that I would change my course of life. I went to a money-lender and told him I wanted to borrow money on my house. The security being good, I got what I asked for. Then I began and gave grand parties. I commanded an architect to draw me plans for a handsome family mansion, and ordered a landscape gardener to lay me out a garden full of Grecian bends. I engaged servants at top wages for doing very little, and others at still topper for doing less v The people began to remark what a clever man Mr. Snyder was, and how well he was getting on in the world, and how they only wished they could do at he did. The grocer said that, whereas Mr. Snyder's household used to content itself with a pound and a-half of polled butter during the week, he now consumed three times as much of the very best fresh. The butcher made a similar remark, "Lega of mutton and riba of beef used to do Mr. Snyder at one time, but now he lias got on in the world he goes in tor ox tails, 'lore-quarters of lamb, sweetbreads, and them sort of things. Mr. Snyder is worth half-a-dozen of any other customers I have on;my books put together—Joe take that saddle of mutton and lamb kidneys up to Snyder villa at once; Eobinson's bit of loin can go afterwards—who is Robinson that he must Have '. his joints sant in time to cook for dinner ?" Before my family residence was a quarter finished, or my garden half laid out, I had to go to the money-lender and borrow on my stock-in-trade. Then I gave more grand parties and ordered the architect to add two wings to my residence. I got invited out to balls and fetes and banquets where people proposed my health, followed with " for he's a jolly good fellow." And everyone said what a prosperous man I was, and how clever I was, and how sharpsighted I was, and what a way I had of putting people down if they only so much as came across me in the slightest degrea. Having mortgaged my house and my stock-in-trade I next borrowed money upon my personal effects and everything available I had to offer as security, such as my quarter finished residence and garden, for which I had not paid one penny and other things I had bought on credit. But no one knew or thought anything about me beyond thinking and saying what a happy man I must be, and what a clever man I was; invitations to dinner and suppers so increased upon me, and I became so fastidious at last that if the dinner or supper I was asked to was not of the right sort, I used to say I had got an attack ofanginispectoriSfSkni was "extremely sorry «fee, &c, that the state of my health &c, &c, would not allow me to avail myself &c, &c, but earnestly trusted on another occasion &c, &c. Yours very truly, J. B. Snyder." It wag when at last my securities became nearly all used up, and people didn't saem any longer to care about taking my paper, I came to discover that a sort of deafness was affecting me, and when a holder of any of my securities waited on me, and he would feel obliged if I would release 'my debt, I used to say that I never was in a more flourishing position than at the present time; than business never was better; that m fact it was never so good; that my household was happy and contented ; and that I thought I should require a few more thousands to finish my residence and garden, although I had recommended my architect, after he had laid his foundation according to plans and specifications, to exercise caution. ■ This was a good staU-oft

fora time, but, to draw a long story to a short conclusion, the bubble burst. My borrowing powers failed me; I no longdr had to plead ariginis pectotit to excuse myself from accepting an invitation to dinner, and people began to doubt whether I was so deaf after all. 'My mansion was bought by the very architect who planned and helped to build it, at a third of the money which had been expended. He bought for a company, who will make a good thing out of the speculation, although it will be hard lines for the tenant. Perhaps, on the whole, I am a happier man now than I was in what was called my palmy daya. People, wbeu they pass me in the streets now don't take off their hats to me, nor ask me to use my influence to get them billets. They merely say, if there are two of them together, " There's poor Snyder; don't look across the road, and then you needn't notice him. He was not a bad fellow by long chalks, but he came it considerably too strong, and now. he's looked upon as no account whatever." Perhaps some people will think I have here bfeen writing allegorically, and that instead of referring to myself I have been hinting i something respecting the policy being pursued by the present the Hon. the Colonial Treasurer, but, of course, I don't mean anything of the kind.— Weekly Herald.