VARIETIES.

Colonist, Volume VI, Issue 625, 20 October 1863, Page 4

VARIETIES.

We seldom have a bonmot coming from Rome. Here is one. When the Pope lately left the Eternal City for his short excursion, 'Pasquino' asked 'Moifurio' " What will become of us poor sheep, since the shepherd is going to leave us ? " " Calm yourself," answered ' Morfario' "the dogs remain behind." This ambiguous compliment is not very flattering to generals of Ids Imperial Majesty Napoleon 111. Out-of-door Gamester and Summer Sporting Register.—Pedestrianism—A large assemblage is expected to witness a novel walking match against time.: An amateur has backed himself to walk into a pigeon' pie in less than two minutes. Archery— The shooting match for children under eight years of age is to commence in a few days. The targets will be provided with bull's-eyes from the nearest sweetshoips.—Punch. . _ Mailciotts Repoet.—We are requested, on authority, to contradict the statatement that Mr. Cox, M.P., competed for the Wimbledon prize for small bores.— Ibid.. '. . . .. . To find the value of a pound at any price.—Try to borrow1 one when you are desperately hard up. At Wakefield (in Yorkshire, not in Nelson province) a witness was asked if he was not a husbandmanj when he hesitated for a moment, then coolly re- ! plied, amid the laughter of the court " No, sir, I'se not married." Wanted to know.—The cost of a Poetical License, and also that of a License of Speech. [For the latter ask a robustious member of a Provincial Council or of the House of Assembly.] How does a cow become a landed estate?—By turning her into a field.

A Yankee doctor recently got up a remedy for hard tunes. It consists of ten hours' hard labor, well worked in. .

A Negro's Notion.—lt is peculiarly the duty of tho white race to bo cleanly—they show dirt so easily. A Pale-faced Lady with a Red-nosed Husband.— Whence comes ifc tbat in Clara's face the lily only has a place ? It is because the absent has gone to paint her husband's nose.

Warning to bad payers of the Doctor.—A jolly doctor said that people who were prompt in their payments always recovered in their sickness, and physicians could not afford to lose them.

High Wages.—Jack said he once worked for a man who rose his wages so high that he could only reach them once in two years.