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Colonist, Volume II, Issue 192, 23 August 1859, Page 4

A magistrate in America asked an Irishman whom he was questioning, " Have you ever seen the sea?" " Iver seen the say, your honour? Be jabers, and does your honour suppose that I was thrundled all the way over the salt ocean in a wheelbarrow, on my back ?" "Well," said a Yankee proudly to a travelling Scot, as they stood by the Falls of Niagara, "Is not that wonderful? In your country you never saw anything like that?" "Like that," quoth the latter; " there's a far more wonderful concern nae twae miles frae whar I was born." " Indeed." says Jonathan, " and pray what kind of a concern may it be?" "Why man," replied the other, " it'» a peacock wi' a wooden leg I" The old Duchess of Bedford was notoriously addicted to rouge, which she used in uncommon quantities. Lord North one day asked George 111. when his majesty had seen the old lady. The king replied, "He had not seen her face, nor had any other person, he believed, for more than twenty years." 'Pay me that six-and eightpence you owe me, Mr. Mulrooney,' said a village attorney. *For what?' * For the opinion you had of me.' * Faith I never had any opinion of you in my life. 1 Coleridge on Horseback. —Coleridge was a remarkably awkward horseman —so much so as generally to attract notice. He was once riding along the turnpike road, when a wag approaching, noticed his peculiarity, and thought the rider a fine subject for a little sport, when, as he drew near, he thus accosted Mr. C.:—" I say, young man, did you meet a tailor on the road?'" **Yes," replied Mir. Q* (never at a loss for-a rejoinder), " I'did; and he told me ii I wen a little further I should meet a goose The assailant was struck dumb, while th traveller jogged on. A Beautiful Girl. —Beautiful in youth and health and purity—who wakes from sleep at touch of morning light, as the flowers do, with a cheerful grace; whose first tones, like those of the birds, are the most musical of the day; from whose brow every trace of yesterday's wear and last night's care is swept away, even as the face of nature is renewed aud brigtened by the summer [dew—such a girl is worth the winning. During a late cattle show, an old farmer called at the Circumlocution; Office to see a nephew. After looking about for some time, he asked one of the messengers if he knew such a young man, and went on describing him as when he last saw him. Aftejr a: little hesitation, a light broke in upon the messenger. * Oh, ha!' said he; yes,'he is a tall, dark complexioned young man, with a large beard and moustache.' The old farmer was taken by surprise, and exclaimed,- *,And has he got disfigured in any other way since he's-been in Lunnun?' ■