STAFFORD AND HIS BILL.

Colonist, Volume II, Issue 110, 9 November 1858, Page 3

STAFFORD AND HIS BILL.

Air—" Vim-Ikins and his Dinah." 'Oh in Auckland there once a great minister did dwell, And he thought that he was an unkimmon great swell— His name it was Stafford, as you must all know, And his uncle's name was Allison, I will tell you also: Not that this matters in the slighterest degree, Biit I tell you because Stafford told it to me ; For he thought that his uncle on himself shed some light, Like the sun on the moon when she shines of a night. (Chorus —The Battle of Prague very loud, as Sir A. A. likes battles.) Now as Stafford was a walking in the lobby one day, Mr. Richmond came up and to him did say, ■" You must bring in a bill, if one you can find, That will cut up the provinces just to our mind."" Now this cunning Mr. Stafford had a notion we know, That by this little dodge he would give a great blow To the Wellington Province, whose members were not Present to return him a similar shot. (Cries of " Shame," and " Who's your hatter ?") •So Stafford came down with the bill in his hand, And tried to make the members the scheme understand, And talked about peacocks and other strange things, Which shewed that he wanted to clip a few wings. Superintendents, he said, were birds that he hated, Then of their habits some stories related, Which all went to prove they were birds of a feather, And so that of course they would all flock together. (On the Opposition benches, in course.) Then several members got up and replied That the three F.s had perhaps on his Honor relied, And that really the Bill was a back-handed blow To Fox and Fitzherbert, Featherston and Co. They thought that they'd done quite mischief enough, That eighty-eight Bills were just quantum suff. To flavor their tempting political hash, Sans wishing the dishes in pieces to smash, (Cries of " Rot and Bosh," from Mr. Domett.) But Stafford was strong, his opponent*, were weak, And the Speaker of course wasn't able to speak Except in Committee, and what he said then Will gain the applause of all right-thinking men. After some days' discussion tlie House it divided, When by just five votes was the question decided That the Provinces all could bo cut up like eels, Which, when used to skinning, of course never feels. (Chorus of indignant Provinces very bass.) And Ahuriri rejoiced with exceeding great joy, And called Mr. Stafford the " broth of a boy " For attacking that hydra Provincialism, Who'd been trying to swallow giant Centralism ; But whether the people will like to live under This giant, when they know him, is what I wonder; And whether his dear and most intimate friend, Mr. Stafford, won't come to an untimely end, (And carve him right too.) MOKAL. Now all you old Provinces by us warning take, If you don't wish Mr. Stafford you in pieces to break, Take care to return men whose.mottoMß this— " Bach Province shall manage its own business."