CURRENT TOPICS. (By Zamiel in the "Auckland Star ")

Te Aroha News, Volume VII, Issue 419, 19 October 1889, Page 6

CURRENT TOPICS. (By Zamiel in the " Auckland Star ")

I see somebody says we are likely, if things improve in the colony, to have a large influx ot population from Australia and other parts very soon. 1 don't doubt it at all. We have had a similar experience already. Things were bright and lively here some years back, and of course we had a large increase of population in a very short time. The wolves soon gathered round the carcase. But the carcase could not last tor ever, and the wolves, after eating it up and finding nothing more, fled to other parts, howling at the skeleton they had left. Our settled population was overrun for a time by crowds of the floating population of the whole of Australasia, and while there was plenty ot work all were content. But work got scarce and our wandering tribes, having taken no heed of the morrow, entered into a keen competition with our own people to the ruin ot both parties : or fell inLo the ranks ot the unemployed, dragging many another good man with them. Then began the cursing and reviling of the country, and the exodus to Australia. It will prohably please a large number of our people to see the return of these gentry. It is such a good thing tor the country. * * V At the Police Court the other day a boy was brought up charged with larceny. He was one of that class ot boys growing so numerous in Auckland of late years — boys who loiter around the wharves and boatsheds "sneaking" things, and liv ing nobody knows how. Bo.ys with butts of cigarettes in their roouihs, with faces that never felt soap, I and h'nr that never saw a comb. Boys I wearing that style ot nose that you can be ■^ure ne\er .saw a handkerchief. Sometimes they go off to Kumeu, or Northcote, or Waikomiti way, ostensibly to dig gum ; but the wary country settler looks after things? very carefully when he sees them around. This lad at the Court boldly admitted his guilt and tried to screen as tar as possible his older accomplice. There was no appearance of shame about him, nor any fear of the consequences of his act. He wanted somo money to get a meal, and he took the first thing handy. What is to be done with such boys ? Send them to prison, and the> become hardened in crime. Let them go, and they laugh at the law, and go on their way rejoicing. Whip them, they sni\el and squirm and promise amendment, but only become brutallsed. VVhal is to done with them, my brothers ? We aio rearing them in greater and greater numbers every year aa our town grows larger, so that by-and-byo we shall have a nice little harvest to reap. Consider the future. I ♦ * * It is considered by many people a curious problem, why people attend in such laige crowds at pertormances like those of minstrels cr var.ety combinations : and yet legitimate drama or high-class opera can only draw* very moderate houses. The reason, I think, is not fur to seek. Of course the prices charged have something, and in these hard times, a good deal, to do with the number ot people who will attend the theatre, and the minstrels use their common sense to get large audiences. But the chief reason ot the popularity of these variety show© is to be found, I think, in the fact that 'they~ amuse people, and divert their thoughts from the bothers of everyday life in a manner which requires little t.iought on the part of the hearer. People go to a theatre to be amused. They have quite enough bother in their own lives, without going to see the troubles ot other people, even though Lhe latter troubles are only acted on a stage. They want an ideal world ot tun and frolic, not of trouble and sadness. Hence minstrel shows, comedie«, and comic opeias are always more popular in Auckland than any other form of entertainment. We have not. enough people in the town who are so happy thatthey want toseeacted the troubles of other people. There is much shaking of heads at the "degeneracy of playgoers," who can be satisfied with a minstrel show. Supply the people with something better then, but see that it is funny. Fun, a.s well as sorrow, can be made artistic ; and surely artistic fun is a better thing for people than artistic sorrow. People will always pay readily for a hearty laugh. * ■» > « i. ■* t -rf * You may often have noticed how fat o sports with tho hearts of the j'ou ng, and how it seems to take a secret delight in i thwarting the ambitions of the sentimental. I Well, one of those cases where everything goes wrong from the inception of the enterprise terminated this week, the scene of the denouement being not one hundred miles from the North Shore. Ho was a young man of alleged long memory, and particularly sweet on a handsome, winning, and attractive lady. Ho was not an awkward fellow by any means, but things were so perverse that he seemed to be always apologising for some accident that had wounded her susceptible feeling?. It appears that for teii days there had been no misunderstaMding, and he had taken a trip to "the Shore" to ask her to name the happy day, when, during a moment of abstraction, his note book slipped out of his breast-pocket and fell with a slight noise on to the Brussels carpet. He was confiding to her that although his business appointments were many, and that in consequence he sometimes forgot many of them, yet whenevor it was time to meet her hip heart went oft just like an alarm clock, and proceeded to " whirr " until he was actually in her sweet presence He then told her about his business, how it was progressing under his methodical management, and during this time the lady had picked up the little note-book. * it * * # fr ¥■ V- * As an instance of his business aptitude he asked her to glance through the leaves of the book and to note how his business engagements were jotted down. She had not. cast her beautiful orbs over its contents for more than thirty second? before she closed it with a snap, I and pushing it back into his hands, rose with a haughty air. Of course he asked what was the matter, and s-he replied : " Sir ! If you find it necessary to make a memorandum of your appointments with me I will excuse you for tho future. I could not think of intruding on your valuable time. Good day, sir." She flung herself out of the room and left him staring blankly and dazedly at a page in his memorandum book : — "Exchange (Dobson) 10.30 ; club 11, shave (don't foreeb cosmebique) 12.15 ; Alice (North Shoref2.3o boat." The little incident occurred too late this week to glean any further particulars as, to whether he got "out of this scrape, bub I should feel inclined to think he is really a smart business man if he does. The immortal Sam Weller has said "Beware -of vidders !:>! :> but after this I should also say " Beware of note books. " H- I- # * * * *• » * I A great deal has been said and insisted on in the matter of "training" whenever . our chosen athletes hay« been about ,to {

enter the arena, and I daresay numbers of our cricketers, footballers, volunteers and pedestrians can look back with very j mingled feelings on their attempts to get themselves "tit" for what proved to be many a hard-fought battle. It cannot bub bo admitted that such a system is highly conducive to a strengtnening of the muscles and a reduction of the adipose tissue co necessary fco earning those victories of which we in Auckland are so tenaciously proud ; but 1 think, taking one consideration with another, that some attention should be paid to mental and moral as well as bodily culture in these mimic battles. When we send teams away to uphold the honour of the province we never trouble ourselves about the component parts of the team as long as they are all right in wind and limD, forgetting that besides these qualities theie are others that induce just as must criticism as "off-side" play or a tendency to " sky " a cricket ball. I refer to the behaviour of the teams in the field on en tour. My suggestion ia that a mental as well as a bodily trainer should be l'etained by the various clubs, and that both the corporal and cerebral functions of the members, should be worked, as 'twere in double harness, so that when our representatives come in contact with their hosts or guests they shall know exactly when and how to do the right thing in tho right place, nob only in the field, but also when participating in those social functions that form a great portion of the enjoyment when two teams meet in a contest tor supremacy. A funny tale is told about two sailors who made up their minds to desert from H.M. Navy when the fleet was last stationed here. They went to a secondhand dealer's and each bought a suit of clothes, leaving behind their own uniform. The dealer, not caring to sell these, simply made them up into a bundle and put them away on the shelf. Subsequent events showed that it was well he did so, for about a week later two miserable objects limped into the shop and a.slced it he had still £Ot those uniforms. The dealer replied that ho had. "Then give us them at once!" joyiully exclaimed one of the spectacle?, who, by the way, were the aforesaid tars.' "I would sooner go back on board and bo run in for desertion than tramp these blanked roads in this blanked country." While they were donning their old clothes the men gave a graphic description • of their tour in the country, and appeared to have very tender recollections of the " pointed' attentions of the " bush lawyer." Their feet swelled in the boots and became so aore that they tried walking barefooted, bur that did not prove a success. Ultimately, like the prodigal son, they decided that what they had come to was worse than that which obey had left, and accordingly returned to the ship again more content with life aboard than they had been here tofore.