THE MODERN GHOST.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 202, 7 May 1887, Page 2

THE MODERN GHOST.

I. The old-fashioned ghost was giddy and gay, He lived in baronial halls ; His get-up was something appalling, they pay; And tho bravest Sir Knight he could frighten away With his grisly form and funeral lay Whenever he made his calls.

11. But sad is the lot of the ghost of to-day, I never get even a show ; Though I scout through the night Till the morning is grey, And dance on each telegraph-pole by the way, And peep in at windows with grimaces gay. I can't scare a soul, don't you know !

111. All ! there was once a time when they feared, one aud all, A glimpse of my terrible face, As I peered from a tomb or a tottering wall, And croaked out my croon with a horrible bawl, E'en the man in the moon, in convulsions. would fall, When 1 put on my choicest grimace.

IV. But now when I steal in the solemn midnight, To a nui scry dim and dark, With a sorrowful song by each crib 1 alight, And make horrible eyes at eacli infant in sight; But the worst of it is that they never take fright, For they look on it all as a lark.

Y. A few days ago at a bank 1 dropped in, Found the president ready to skip ; He welcomed me with an affectionate grin, Having just robbed the safe of available tin, And everything else in the place worth a pin, For his coming Canadian trip.

VI. Did I frighten him ?No! He said " What a shame That we couldn't pai tners become : You could flit with the boodle as quick as you came, And leave the directors to shoulder the blame ; If you think you would care for a hand in the game, You would clear quite a neat little sum ! "

VII. The time has gone by when a decent okl spook Found pleasure in roaming about ; In the days of my youth, how folks shivened and shook If I .gave them a grin or a good-natuied look ! But now I am guyed in each jmenile book, And losing my grip beyond doubt.

VIII. The ghost of the past could drhe into a fit A spinster of uncertain age ; But in these days they don't mind my presence a bit, And actually flirt with me when on the ilit, Or draw their chairs closer to where I may sit, And wink at me, much ti my rage.

IX. It may be quite true, as philosophers say, That we live in a wonderful age ; But I know the ghost business has seen its beat day, So I think I'll sell out, for it really don't pay; To the nearest museum I'll hie me away And exhibit myself in a cage !