Quits.
Flat catchers and Their Ways.
Among the frequenters of a wellrknown Parisian restaurant waB a certain methodical | personage, who dined there every day, and always at the same table, which the proprietor with a due regard for so regular* customer, specially, reserved for him. One© however by some mistake of the waiter, he ( found on arriving , his usual place already occupied by a stranger, and inwardly, fretting at the disappointment,- entered into conversation with the mistress of the es- ' tablishment, who presided at the counter, j and awaited- the,. intruder's departure as patiently as he coulq\ The latter seemed in no hurry, for* after consulting the bill , of fare, he ordered another dish and a fresh bottle of wine, seeing which the habitit&, who would- rather have gone without his dinner than taken any place but his own, resolved at all hazards' .to. get rid of the unw elcome guest, and addressing the dame dv comptoir ,in'a low tone inquired if she knew who the individual at his table was. "Not in the least,'' she replied; "this is the first time he lias been here." " And •ought to-be the last," he significantly re,marked, "if you k»pw;;as much. as. I do." '* Why, who is he ?" " The executioner of Versailles !" "Mon Dieu !" exclaimed the lerrified dame dv comptoir,' and, calling her husband, imparted to him the information ?he, had just received. "Mako out-his' bilf," He said, ",an# counter. J ord,er wiiat Be has asl^ed "fo'f. 1 " 1 ' He^'must'nat 'sta'y'here, or we shall., lose every customer we have." Wher&upon?, s>arined5 >arined with the" docu-. orient in question, he presently crossed the room to where the stranger was flitting and inquired if he were satisfied with his dinner. "Pretty w,ell,' the answer,, 'buttheservico^migtit be quicker. Why i lon 't they bring "wfjat I ordered ?" * ' Mon-, sieur," replied tp.eltraitej.ir> assuming an air of importance,.-" I am compelled to say,, that your presence .here is undesirable, anjl, that I "must request you to leave my house as soon'as possible, and, on, no account to ?et foot in it again." " What on earth do you mean?" his/ as i to»ishe,d guest., '• You must be perfectly well aware," continued the otl^eivi^ that y.6ur being seen here is most 'prejudicial ,tb"me, and — ~" "Speak. plaim'y^manX' impatiently ; infcer'ru'pted the, stranger.,^ . "I insist on .being told 'whoydu imagine' me\tq pet" ] \ Fcirblty I, you tnow, as fellas I do. „ #!h> executioner ,o| Yej I 's'ames;\"' i :;ff'Aht and^ray who is, t your auiKprity, fo^.tb^! I.'1 .' , man,',' r^jie^ Jh'e proMe^pr 'ot,t;li ( e restautanii^.gointipg io'^e/tao^'^e'/a^lne ,b6un{er, A , who .was Jegiririing iro "feel, uneasy as to the »gentleman .has lmormea. YQti TOj?i ain,,tne, |t9, know,, /^iJjWj? 'lfwif s ty%2i<WMstvm'% x^ a |M ne^fE'l^P^»*^#W^^^jp%
A^OTpR-iilo'stt^m^zingyfeatMr'eiJofißarnet.. f aSJS^pw.r&wul m .al*» v«uj»«soTg««> $m jfoa «.?$ ktoo®i'% "**aus #flakoafcotiing/&roia§Bj Mi^lubrAtJlvfeffiplpy&e^cnr.rr !•)) ,<\ :*u 'riftv wKo'i By^-MeWu!* 1 of -manner gamblinWaWo^^^^ the 4' puraeV trick,* >the V nimble. , pea, " priok'in {he gasJer»^the- three cards, and, similar* exercises-Sf 'hocus-poous, have increased alarmingly, and are still increasing, at'all'fairs ahd race meetings. .. # ,i Gom'parjßd'with but a few fc yeara sipce, it !is as though' the laws ttfen operating against I this species of pocket-picking were now re- | pealed, and that those addic'ed thereto were now, at liberty, to play their -various little games without let or hindrance. Of course, onedoes'not expeotto find a striot observance of the moralities at fairs and race meetings, and it must be admitted- that Barnet is somewhat notorious for the mixed company that two or three times in the oourse of the year assemble there in its ', green meadows for pleasure and business. , But I may say that never before, in town 6r 'country, on whatever occasion of these congregations, did I witness such a strong muster of the JeremyDiddler family. I?hey absolutely swarmed.' Nor were they all oftheßeedy and flagrantly disrespectable type. ... I rode in a railway carriage— l in variably at such times treat myself to third-class -in the same compartment with probably fifteen, possibly eighteen other passengers (the allotted space being designed for ten), and conpidering that we were all Barnet bound, I oould not but notice how welldressed the majority were. Not flashily, but nicely and comfortably.' Three-fourths of my follow -travellers might have been prosperous small tradesmen or shopkeepers who had made the possibility of purchasing a horse or a pony if they saw a good one going cheap an excuse for the day's outing. It is a fact, however, that, within a couple, of hours of my arrival on the horse ground, I counted seven of them highly busy, two of them disposing of new purses containing 7s 6d, at the ruinous rate of 2s, 6d each ; two at three-card practice, apd the other three in a brisk pursuit of a livelihood, the simple tools of their craft being a length of coiled tape and a bodkin. One, who was stard and prim enough to be a distributor of traets,>with one knee on the grass, his other supporting a book— a volume of the Pilgrim's Progress of all things in the world —on the flat cover of which was the wound tape, and the other two innocents were spotting the centre with the bodkin for a level shilling a time, and winning such lots of money from the man who was betting that they couldn't do it, it was no wonder that several of the bystanders were induced to try their luck at such a profitable pastime. There were so many of those rogues at work that they literally jogged elbows at every turn, and it seemed as though, like the locusts, having devoured every green thing, and being still hungry, they must in the end fall tooth arid nail on each other. The competition for customers was so keen among them that they appeared to be at their wits' end for a novel plan to get a crowd about them, though only for a few ininutes. They did suoh strange and startling things to achieve their object as to suggest the fancy that there must exist somewhere or other a sohool for this class of conjurers, the masters of which gave all their time and attention to the invention of new "fakes and dodges," in which the pupils were inducted on payment of certain fees. And this not only as applying to the vulgar art of palmistry, but to abstruse calculations in arithmetic and in the science of " casting sprats to catch mackerel." To the uninitiated it is incomprehensible how Borne of these adventurers get a living at all. I saw one man with u smart pony and cart, in which he was mounted, with a large travelling trunk open before him, and I was present when he commenced business. He began by roundly abusing those who halted to see what he was about to do. "What did they want staring at him like a lot of stuck pigs ?" he impudently demanded. '* They could pass on, he didn't want them. He wasn't there to court their custom, and he'd be dashed if he would, either. He didn't care whether they stayed to listen to what he'd come to tell 'em, or if they walked off. Why didn't he? Well, he'd preoious sbon tell them why. Because it didn't' matter to him if he got rid of the things he had brought there in his trunk, or if he took the whole lot back again. They didn't belong to him, but' to those who employed him to carry out a novel idea. That's what made him so independent, and so he told 'em. He was not there to get money out of the public— he would soon prove that, Here I look at this shilling. Would anyone give him sixpence for it? That's the style. Oh, you may bite it and spin it. It's good enough. And now who would give him threepence for sixpence 1 ' What 1 you are waking up, are you? Collar hold then. Now who'll give me a penny for threepence ? It's yours, mister. Now who wantsa penny ? Here you are !" And the despised coin was flung to anybody- who chose to catoh it. "That's how much we think of money in our firm !" exclaimed the well-dressed man in the cart, wiping his hands with his handkerchief, as though to free them from the contamination of the gross dross ; " and we thinkfjust about as much of goods that are as valuable as money. What's our game, then ? That's our business. You take my advice, and mind yours, and don't let the present chance slip by you because you, are suspioious of there being some cheating or dodgery at the bottom of it all. Pocketbooks? Who wants a pooket r book? } I« ain't in the line myself, so I don't know how inuoh they cost. P'rhaps a dollar, p'rhaps no more than half a one. .They're good enough to give away, anyhow; Lend me a sixpence, .somebody, and I'll give him a pocket-book. What, you, don't believe that I'll give your money back,? I should stancl a rpoor, chance, shouldn't L one among- fifty ot you, if rpromised and'didhft keep my word ? You shall 'have, your sixpence bacjs right enough !" And. they got i them. . At least, a ."dozen persons in the cro^dtboka pocke^book and "lent" the man r a sixpence, a*nd,wherihe had no more to clisppse of "the, money was returned to each • depositor, / the ' latter , retaining ' the book?" -The crowd about the cart grewv denfe bu f t I was^ious to %JJrt $ the^afeiand l^tayed on. How did the maniope 1:!1 :!© iJaakfe theM dodge ,' \ysy r .? The pQseWo^ foußhfflings^^ tvM, mftvaiiudge^ of 'pipes tmyselt.s npfrbein'g* £olioW«fc
nexfeliisliilejgeneroiity^ithejpeopleihandeai tf'lheir 'Sliillingsyand. received each' ft !pipe s%eMiWdfltfllpoß^iyt^enty *Mgpi bo? i&ir §d; ttfeieccentrior ifeg6tifttor r coolty>clbsed Jnt 'fb'oked'kttfe iirliak[;?andiv|de9C6nding( ! r<Jm v tHe^eirb^ociededr^to ,1 take fc*ofi. tie "fotkfß f riosebag.^ now- agoitfgi" le f eMrfed fo t^eccd«rd:wifchtah impudenfc jrin, '-•• Whittle fkat'requir^«the!r,^ f illfngBiretCirnedrJba^e WnlyHo here till Icpme' back and they/111 !get ; 'emV'- TDhei'e / waB>iupr6KnouB « laughter j at' this on* the* part of "those?vwhq had! hoti parted mbney,andtHey<.welre'by Ear the majority, 1 } b6 'there <wasntf ohance for the'non-cqnteiita. OHe"pipe>Holder pressed.forward with the evident • intention«*of <tr#y mPnstrating, * bat as. -he was promptly, borinetted, no one followed his example". !The piries may have cost &d eacly whiobjT 'taking'tHe number as twenty, added 3ssand4d to the outlay already incurred, andjmade a total of 8s 4d ; andi f assuming thaf there were twenty shillings Collected, -a profitf,pf11s 8d remained, not an inconßiderable-sum. to net in- less than twenty minutes,t but.i after all, it seemed a daring risk to run, for it. Supposing that instead, of a good-, humoured it had turned out to be a nastytempered mob I It was at least 150 strdng at the termination of the perilous experi ment, and most of the men carried an ash Btick. But the impumty^jwjaich theße rascals 'enjoy" ls"Hasecl mainly on tKe fflnlt* affords the wide - awake ' portion of. the crowd, as well as those who were half re^ solved to speculate, but could scarcely muster courage enough to see the venturers bitten. The purse-trick gentry displayed quite as much ingenuity in mustering an audience. I saw one who, pushing his way through the throng, suddenly seized on a lad -of course a confederate— and, holding him with one hand by the back of his neck, commenced stuffing money into his mouth — shillings, sixpences, halfpence — at the same time bawling out at the top of hie north-country voice: " Thee's got to waller 'em ; down wi 'em, I tell e'e, every man jack of 'em !" Those in the immediate vicinity, of course, stopped to inquire what such a strange proceeding might mean, when the boy slipped away, and with his broad face expanded with a grin, the man instantly produced a purse and proceeded, to turn baok his coat-sleeves,- so that the spectators might have their minds made perfectly easy as to there being no decbption ; in what they were invited to witness. I saw yet another instance of tke desperate devices to which these poor cheats were; driven by press of competition to resort t^ so as to give them a chance of a share of the " trade " that is doing. There were two men together, and one of them fell flat down with' his face to the grass, having seemingly been seized with a fit. His friend, in a state of tremendous excitement, tried his best to assist the poor fellow, patr ting his back and chafing his clenohed fists; and calling on the bystanders for goodness[ sake to procure a glass of water. In less than half a minute the prostrate one was surrounded with a ring of sympathisers, when, as unexpectedly as he had falleti down, up he jumped again with a puree in one hand and three half crowns in the other, ready for business, and went straightway to work at his trade of flat catching as though nothing uncommon bad happened. ,
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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/TAN18851226.2.45
Bibliographic details
Te Aroha News, Volume III, Issue 134, 26 December 1885, Page 6
Word Count
2,154Quits. Flat catchers and Their Ways. Te Aroha News, Volume III, Issue 134, 26 December 1885, Page 6
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