A FALSE STATEMENT.

Sun (Christchurch), Volume III, Issue 871, 24 November 1916, Page 4

A FALSE STATEMENT.

St. Peter removed the chain from the pearly gates and viewed the applicant cautiously through the aperture. "Your credentials, *' he demanded imperiously. The applicant threw back his shoulders proudly. "I raised a family of seven children," said he with ealm confidence. "Three of them were clergymen, two were doctors, one was a missionary and one—a girl—wrote helpful anecdotes for a religious magazine." "I see," said St. Peter. "You suffered sickness and pain when they were born, I presume, and endured months of mental torture before their arrival?" "Oh, no," replied the applicant, sadly, "their mother did that." '' Hh,'' observed St Peter thoughtfully. "Then it was you, no doubt, who bathed and fed them when they were little, mended their garments, "taught them their prayers, put them to bed and soothed them when they started crying at 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning." "Well—er—no," said the claimant, with some hesitation. "Their—er—mother did that." "Oh, yes," smiled St. Peter, "but surely it was yon who saw to their education, picked up the things that they dropped around the house, listened to their childish troubles, and comforted them in their woes?" "No—not exactly," stammered the applicant. "Their mother did that." At this St. Peter lost patience, for he had had a hard day. "What did you mean, then," he roared, "by saying that you raised a family of seven "children? Their mother did thatl Take the first turn to the left and go straight down!'' And, slamming the pearly gates in the applicant's face, he made amends for his outbuist by writing a note on mother-of-pearl stationery, inviting the mother of the seven children to visit him indefinitely. —K. L. Roberts, in "X.Y. Life."