THE OBEDIENCE OF WIVES.

Sun (Christchurch), Volume I, Issue 244, 18 November 1914, Page 4

THE OBEDIENCE OF WIVES.

Freda Sternberg, writing in "Every Lady's Magazine," deals with the question of wives obeying their husbansd in an interesting manner. ' What woman, as she commands her " lord and master " to be home by 10 o'clock, -realises that in a literal sense she is breaking her marriage vow? When the self-same "lord and master" lpd her, as a blushing bride, to the altar, she faltered forth a solemn oath to "love, cherish, and obey him," until one or other was dead—that is, if she was married by a strictly orthodox clergyman of the Church of England. Solemnly, after a minister, she had sworn, probably with many relatives looking on, "I take thee, etc., etc." And, having duly sworn to do all that he should want of her, does she do it? Does she even think that she should do it? ' The average woman will answe? j" no, " and then proceed to qualify her answer. But there are really no qualifying adjectives attached to the "obey" sworn in .the marriage service. "The word stands clear-cut and well-defined, and when it was inserted in the English prayer-book upon its drastic revision after' the. Reformation, there was probably ho doubt as to what "obey" was meant to convey. v ~ THE OBJECTIONS OF THE UNMARRIED.

But does the average woman think

she should "obey" her husband? From time immemorial the obedience of a woman to 'her husband has been as accepted a fact'as the rising and setting of the sun. The question has -been settled long since in Finland, where it is considered that promises -of obedience and-submission, if sincerely made/ are degrading to man and woman; and if insincerely- made, are dishonourable. But in Australia, even among the women themselves,, opinions are divided. The married woman is generally passive in her: attitude; 'she is, as a rule, reasonable and fair-minded, and has sufficient responsibility to satisfy her sense of equality. It is, generally speaking, the unmarried women who object -to the word M obey.". And their objections' are probably based on the natural desire of ■youth*/to conquer and. to sway.

THE OBEDIENT HUSBAND. And this interpretation of the obediepce of the- woman, although it is pro-; b'ably not the literal translation of the' obedience demanded in the marriage ceremony; is yet the most generally aejcepted one, for, notwithstanding the! ! best intentions and the 'most honourable. I motives, the literal marriage vow is habitually broken. Probably in seven cases, out of 10 a man obeys his wife even more than his wife obeys him. Most of the good in life, and most of the evil, eomes from this hidden but well-known fact. The woman rules; she does not say much ablrat it, she only half' realises it herself. If she is a bad woman she abuses her power; if she is a good woman it makes her afraid. But,

bad or good, the woman rules in most .homes. Hence, in the case 6f most inen, their suecess or failure in life- depends on the woman behind the scenes. ~ That,, seems to be one of the peculiarities of ' civilisation as against savagery—this hidden, peculiar, extraordinary power wielded by women. The question of obedience thus practically resolves itself under modern conditions into a comprojnise in which both the man obeys and tlie woman obeys—each the other —the one swaying tha other's destiny, in a' republic in ;which. neither governs, but both rule. : • >