ANECDOTAGE.

Sun (Christchurch), Volume I, Issue 193, 19 September 1914, Page 8

ANECDOTAGE.

A SHEAF OF GOSSIP. [Written for THE STJN.] Truly, as the preacher of Eeclesiastes has remarked, "Of the making of many books there is no end," and in these years the wonder is why so many of them are made. This is the age of machinery and cheap paper, of course, and there is little impediment against anyone rushing into print if he fes long appreciated himself as a person of engrossing interest, and desires the public to have a glimpse of this .fascination. That is why so many people write, and, what is worse, publish their reminiscences—that is why Mr P. C. Phillips, who has now, according to his own figures, attained to years of indiscretion amounting,.to 65, has published his. There is no other reason. True, he has been in the Army, in the Theatre, in Law, and in Journalism, and has met and mixed with many "people of some importance in their day," as Browning phrases it, but even so, that seems little excuse. His varied life seems to have liaJjl a singularly small amount of; the spice of ..variety,-according to his, own book, that is. He has conducted cases amongst c.elebratedr lawyers, before eminent judges; he has produced plays, and written some novels Avhich are probably loug since forgotten (and which, no doubt, were suffused with the flamboyant platitudes' and efflorescent Whiskers of the seventies), but for himself >hehas' little to of whatever interesting comment and anecdote is sprinkled .through the book is at ■second-hand.; Mr F; C. Phillips is .rather, like Southey's tinker: "Story, sir? Why, I have none to tell, sir, ?! ~-.■ • SMALL TALK.

But there • are some interesting glimpses of notabilities, a«j said—a little' about the celebrated Pasha Baker, Wolscley, ami other men of the Army, something of actors, ami more, much more, about lawyers and judges. Here one finds revived the legend of Sarah Bernhardt Vfrnee'tl on for," or affectation of, weird pets. • Sarah, ii; seems, produced one of Phillips's plays,'in London, and Phillips, calling on her, was shown into a large.room by a gigantic Pafagoriian footman, and ; found at one end of the room a'cage full of lions. Phillips did not like the even behind the baTs/but he liked them less when' the ; Patagonian let them out into the room to give them some in ilk 1 . They' gam-' boiled about, springing from chair to chair, and Phillips placed the, door between himself and the pretty creatures as soon as possible. SOME JUDGES AND OTHERS.

I There is a story of Wilde, when oil | his American tour. He was the-guest of some Southerners who, as all Southerners were in the habit of doing, always compared the ; present unfavourably with the condition of things ''before the war.'' Wilde, sitting with ■.his' hostess on a balcony overlooking a brba'd river, was admiring the beauty of the scene and' the moon-silvered water. "Oh, Mr Wilde,"' said the hostess, "but you ought to have seen it before the war.'' But legal anecdote, as it bulks most largely in the reminiscences, also gives the best stories,. There are two stories of Mr Justice Maulc (who is now nearly forgotten),, one of how he went to bed drunk, and, instead of putting his boots under the bed and his candle on the chair,' versed: the process, and woke to find the bed in flames; He saved 1 - himself, but burned, the building down. The other story is of his swearing in a little,girl as witness when the counsel for the defence objected. Maule called the child up to him and said, "Now, my child,, supposing you were a naughty little girl and told stories, do you know where you would go to?" "No, sir," said the child.' ■.'Neither do I,'' said Maule; "au' excellent answer. 'Swear the V

Another "stony is< 6i ! -Frank Lockwood arguing an untenable poiut in a' very poor case, because thefe was nothing else for him to <Io. Asked the judge, Sir

*"My Varied Life," l>y P. C. Phillips Published by Evcleigh Nasli, London, 1914,

George Jesse], "What are you here for, Mf Lock wood ?■'.'■

i "Thirty guineas and two," was the 'answer, "and cheap at the price." MORE GOSSIP OF LAWYERS. A good deal of space is given to talk of Sergeant Ballantyne, one of the ablest Q.C.'s. of his day, and Phillips tells of a rebuke given by Ballantyne to Mr Henry Hawkins, Q.C. (afterwards Mr Justice Hawkins). Ballantyne, while opposed to Hawkins in a case, referred to his love of accumulating wealth, and blandly assured him that he had much more money than lie would ever need in this life, and that he could not possibly hope to take away the surplus with him, and if he did it would most certainly.melt. . Though this story is far from fresh it is in the book arid it has its humour. It is of si jurymelting barrister, a tear-eompeller of the first order. He was briefed in. an impossible case—the defence of a navvy who, finding his wife drunk when he egme home, had given her a' knock which removed her altogether from the cares of this world where the husbands never cease from troubling and the weary get no rest. There was no defence, and so the pleader had ; to rely on his eloquence. He used it with such effect that he soon had ;th'6 jury in tears. The prisoner, who did not know that any "mouthpiece" had been engaged to defend him, listened to the harrowing pathos with more or less interest and then nudged one of the warders. '' Who's that bloke ? " he asked. "Why,"-said the warder, "he(s the finest md.uthpieee. on the circuit, and. you 're lucky to have -him."'' "Umph!" said the jirisoner, "dismal beggar, «in'the?',' • GARRULOUS AGE. x

Phillips was famous.....enough in/ his «lay to be cartooned in .':' Vanity "Fiairj ; r . ,: a certificate of fame, as every Londoner; knows, and he gives : an a :eount of the methods of Pellegrini, the Vanity Fair'' cartoonist, "whose. work was-sigiK ed:"<'* Ape." 1 Phillip* went ..to ,'Polle ? grini's house as requested-,- and thcrd the artist, , tbuehrng.; ; neither. . pe£&&: nor. paper,,stared.at;;)>iin, for,nearlyvhaJf : ait hour, iftfithe took-Phillips, lot a! aiut';.'w.^jk^t'.feehind\iiitt^'«ll ! -tHe; way. Then'khb^ne^;^ !^Hf ing held, still without making, •"- any .peneiL.»otesy a»d-itt due bourse?the.re* suit qf ; his eare.ful-inspection in the'eartbQn. ' . , ; .jr ; '.-■■■ There is some talk/df eminent French litterateurs.'..in the book, for Phillips was a friend of Alphonse. Daudet, but, apart from the names there is : little of hitere'st in the talk—the writer does not seem to be of the sort to receive vivid 'impressions, or' pick''up .salient points; he certainly can't record, his. impressions with ; any vividness, his style, is lack'of stj'le and-he has t no gift for telling phrase. His reminiscences are mostly a discursive commentaryj: often borrowed and generally without point,' he, meanders, and, for a Tnan with siich for observing people. andi events, he'has surprisingly little to say. However, "■'one >3ast 'small story; to conelude: netee,: CountessT Amherst, • .was; formerlyi married 'toi Lord Lisburhe, a man much older than herself, and when' in. Paris they went always to the one cafe where they received special attention from the head, waiter. One day while, at lunch Lisburne happened to leave the room/anil 'the head waiter took the opportunity of 'approaching 1 Lady ' Lisburne and whispering,/'I see Mademoiselle is s|ill with .the same old gentleman. Let "me. felicitate her.' ' ' "' . ,'^D.H.;',.'.