Starting Life Again at Fifty

Sun (Christchurch), Volume I, Issue 127, 4 July 1914, Page 6

Starting Life Again at Fifty

WHEN THE CHILDREN HAVE GROWTH UP % :gj '■■"• THE CRITICAL TIME FOR PARENTS M

IN the lives of all true mothers the children dominate everything. The fact may not be very apparent. To the eyes of the outside'world the nursery party is probably very much subdued and kept in the background. The children Is mothers are even known as society butterflies, with no thought beyond themselves and their enjoyment. Nevertheless, fundamentally the nursery rules the house. But youth never stands still. It is always moving, and from babyhood to boyhood and on to man's estate -' the little boys prance, too, quickly for their mothers, -while as for the little girls, they are wooed and married and a' before their distant relatives have fairly real- . ised their existence. " Their Occupation Gone. ' And then the" mothers are left—their occupation is gone. So it comes to pass that a new life must be begun by them. ; They are derelicts alone on a wide, wide sea. What are they to do? Very likely they are still quite young, as youth is counted now, and still quite full of energy. But, having directed their social gifts to the special advancement of their [children, they do not care particularly for the purposeful round of gaieties that amused them before. So that those methods of time passing go with the rest of the old habits. Even with a husband to look after they must draw up a new programme. And if there be no husband', then is their state more pitiable. Two books that I have read lately, writes a "Daily Mail" correspondent, deal with the problehr of the mother who has left the rut to start life over again, and in both ease's the poor women have landed themselves in a quagmire in which, with the callousness of story Writers, they are left submerged--at the <Jnd ,! of the tale any apparent means Of salvation;. ■ !•"!"'; .. ! <\ f: . One mother, a, widow, finding herself ait last able -ttf gratify a lifelong passion for travel 1 , departs alone for the near East, and being a most fascinating creature finds suitors at every turn. Young men adore her, Reasoned campaigners in life's battlefield turn to her, Tdhging to rest in the charm of her presence, and finally *he gives her heart feea foreigner. . ;. Second Carriages. | C When it is giv^n; d#ty, calls her to the bedside of a- sick daughter, and the end of the affair is that the 3»iaii she loves and who loves her with an absorbing ajid very true devotion are separated—one wonders whether for ever, or only for a while. <; In any case there are certain to be complications. It is absolutely positive that the marriage of this pair be viewed with dissatisfaction by the children of jftjs dear woman. For though the children of good ;jß|ithers grow up and desert their mothers, they keep a proprietary interest in them that is always asserted when the mothers take any step whatsoever that can lie criticised, particularly matrimony. |i;.. In the case of the other book the middle-aged hcro,|«e made herself rather ridiculous and did not further the cause of her future when she determined to find in a Jpve affair a solace for the drab life of self-repression that had been hers during the youth of her children. ghc dressed herself absurdly and behaved foolishly, and the consequences might have been more disastrous than they were. 5: What Should She Do? < What happened was that she was forced back into ,Jhe rot, where she would stay, poor thing, for ever it iito be hoped. She was safer in it than out.

. Now it seems to me that this problem of what a woman is to do with her life when her children no longer need her is one that is -rather serious in these clays. It did not press upon women when at forty they were expected to put on caps and mittens, and at fifty only rarely left the easy chair and the knitting-needles of domesticity. Moreover, there was the enthralling part of the grandmother to study then. Grandmothers are very little wanted now. Their occupation has become a sinecure because they are not held to possess the hereditary wisdom that was their value in olden days and are of little use in mending and making, with nurses the clever creatures they are as needlewomen and shops so obliging with ready-made garments. So they must do something to fill their lives. Believe me it is necessary that they should. Is there any position more sad than not to be needed by anyone after having ibeeh necessary to many? And to have nothing to look forward to except the grey procession of the years towards old age and then the end. Some women take up i their health as an interest when other interests fail and become valetudinarians. They have a poor time and one that is likely to become poorer and poorer. '

Others attach themselves to sport and cards, and find in golf and bridge a solace. Some found businesses and n\any interest themselves in philanthropy. A vast number just live. .^- ,y They get up in the morning and go to bed at night, and.in between do a little reading and a little gardening, some visiting and some entertaining, letter writing, sewing—all the. things that need not be done but must, for lack of something niore worthj r . To exchange one rut for another is a rather dismal resource.

The business enterprise is better. The experience a woman has gained during a long apprenticeship of married life and housekeeping is a valuable training in organisation, and there are to-day 'many promoters of sound "concerns" who went into business at forty-five and are doing very well. Somehow in work there is a sympathetic issue; the human interest is there. If not personally with tender touches and loving zeal, the woman who works is still doing something for her children and their children. The mercenary side of existence appeals to her, as never appealed. before, in a more beautiful and less selfish way. For she understands the true value of money and the good that can be done with it, and her day's work brings her at night to a sense of satisfaction in that she is helping ever so many people to live happily and profitably, including her employees and those dependent on them. Love must season the lonely middle-aged woman's career or her life will have lost its savour. ' THE BEAUTY BOX. Week-end beauty boxes of very attractive type are about eight inches square and lined with satin delicately hand embroidered along the edges. The interior lower section of the box is divided into four compartments, two for bottles of scent or toilet water, one for a powder puff, which rests upon a cake of face powder, and one for a cake of soap.

PRETTY SASH EFFECTS. The long, straight-backed jacket has many admirers. It is most becoming, Avith a seam starting from the shoulders, that opens some way below the waist, and finishes with a button on each side! Some of these long backs have the seams slit, to allow of a silk sash passing and tying in large bows arid ends. Coloured sashes will be wound around the waists of the lingerie blouses, and will give a modern touch to the dark blue skirts that so manv women never abandon.

GOOD FOR THE HAIR. Gentle massage of the scalp for five minutes every morning -where there seems to be a lack of circulation, causing the hair to fall out, is very beneficial. In addition to this treatment give the scalp an application of warm olive oil some hours before shampooing the hair. Apply with the tips of the fingers and be sure every part of the scalp receives a generous quantity of the oil. The shampoo should be a very thorough one. Electric treatment is being used extensively for this defect and others connected with the hair, • . THE TOILET BOX. With a cardboard box a pretty pin cushion for the toilet 'table may be made. Remove the lid and cover the'sides and base of the. box with ribbon or satin of some plain gblour. Fill the box with horsehair and bran> packing it full enough to extend a little above the top of the box. Over this fasten a piece of chiffon, taekjng it down at the sides with a little gold net. Round the top and edge of the box to conceal the joining paste a strip of gimp or chiffon flowers. • THE BOUDOIR CAP. A pretty boudoir or breakfast cap is made from ! double-edged camisole laces. These laces are from | fourteen or fifteen inches wide, and have a beading top and bottom, so that by simply running a ribbon through at the top and waist a dainty camisole is secured. To make a cap of this lace get three-quarters, of a yard and three and a half yards of inch-wide satin ribbon. One edge of the lace has a wider scallop than the other; use this to go round the back of the head, resting on the neck, the narrower edge forming the front of the cap. Over each ear sew the Jace together for about an inch. •

Gather or pleat the remaining raw edges, fastening all together with rosettes over the ears.