RETICENCE IN THE HOME.

Sun (Christchurch), Volume 1, Issue 7, 13 February 1914, Page 4

RETICENCE IN THE HOME.

How much should a husband tell his wife? The question refers more to the condition of marital finance than to every little doing of a pleasurable nature. Mrs Barr the novelist has been telling her English sisters that when poverty descends upon a wife without any warning the husband's silence about his position is not only cruel, but humiliating. Mrs Barr has had some experience with the reticent type of husband. "When first married she tried to win her husband's confidence and share his hopes and plans, but, to use her own words, "I was kindly but de-' cisively made to understand that I was going beyond my sphere.'' Hence, looking back upon her own youth and the position occupied by wives sixty years ago, she thinks they had a bad time of it, because their husbands were so reticent. Husbands who suffer such violent changes of fortune are, however, more rare than wives nursing a grievance after Mrs Barr's nature. That ah absolute confidence is desirable none can deny; but after all does not such a state of things depend a great deal on the woman herself? If she is blessed with a little common sense and some understanding the husband will certainly seek her advice from time to tiane, and also confide the. anxieties that Attend his business life. Again, there are men who wish to forget shop when away from business life, and become irritated when it is mentioned. Are they necessarily the worse husbands for that? Of course, in all matters of moment there should be complete confidence, but the woman whose husband spares her the details connected with his business life should be grateful for his consideration. An affectionate partner is often rendered unduly anxious by the mere relation of these petty worries, which thus become magnified out of all proportion to reality, and as a result both are • thoroughly upset, whereas little troubles are apt to pass away in a few days at most when kept for private solution. There are households in* which the husband is consulted upon all domestic details, because the mistress, being incapable, is Unable to carry on unaided by advice; but most women resent any intrusion in the home affairs. Indeed, they would be inclined to laugh at the man who assumed an injured attitude because he was not consulted regarding the methods employed in the spring cleaning or the cooking of the family dinner. Where shall we find the man who feels humiliated by his wife's silence on these matters? The majority are only too thankful if all such business remains to them a mystery.