FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume IV, Issue 1042, 5 August 1930, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By "THE LOOK-OUT MAN." LV HE TROUSERS On Saturday morning a man stole a pair of trousers from a Newmarket shop. A commotion followed the discovery of the theft, and the proprietor of the shop sprinted after the man who, eventually, was handed over to the police.—News item. Man takes trousers— Hark to the scurry! Shopmen, policemen—all in a hurry! Short sharp sprint on the miscreant’s track, Cheers and bustle as they haul him back, “ITey now, sav now, out of the way now! Tell it (spell it)—the charge you will* lay now.” All this pother, all this bother When a lawless man takes trousers. Man takes trousers — An awkward crime For “trousers” can’t be matched in rhyme! Had it been a vest or a brand new tie, Socks with clocks that bad caught his proceed with satisfaction To poke mild fun at x a sneak-thief’s acBut unless a wowser caught him near Nothing could be done with a word like “trouser.” * c * THE A FAV MILITARY : “Ex-N.C.O. —The commanding officer and officers of the Ist Battalion, the Auckland Regiment, cordially invito you to a smoke concert ... at which the prizes won in camp will ho presented. Dress: Plain clothes. Supper will be served free.” Many a former territorial, on receiving this invitation, could but smile sadly with thoughts of what might have been . ‘‘You are cordially invited to be present at a training camp to he held at Narrow Neck from February 5 to 15. Clothing, meals and accommodation have been provided, and expenses will be borne by the Government. Please honour us with your presence during thiß period.—R.S.V.P.” As the late Poet Laureate put it. time eatetli away at many an old illusion. BLACK MARIA. Hardly a day goes by without some mention of that indispensable police vehicle, the ‘‘Black Maria.” Today we read that it has been on the job in Auckland; tomorrow it will play its part in quashing a Communist demonstration in Adelaide; the next day it is speeding to London’s East End. Sometimes the load consists of a drunken brawler, and sometimes it is two drunken brawlers. On other occasions the calls are relatively unexciting—burglars, murderers and so forth. But whenever the blow falls a Black Maria is somewhere handy, ’as it were—to bring home the bacon. The name is said to have been first used in Philadelphia in IS3S, when a powerful negro woman named Maria Lee, who kept a lodging-house for seamen at Boston, was frequently called upon to help in getting refractory prisoners under lock and key. Naturally her name afterward became attached to the special conveyance employed. Maria Lee must .have been a delightful character, and hers is a worthy memorial. at glacis castle With becoming delicacy the cables have given us a hint of “an interesting event expected to happen shortly” at Glamis Castle, the family seat of the Duchess of York, now known as the Scottish residence of the Royal couple. To this ancient pile (it is said to have been the home of Macbeth, the scene of a grim deed done as “the owl shriek’d, the fatal bellman which gives the -stern’st' good night.”). Mr. J. R. Clynes has wended his way to fulfil his duty as HomeSecretary. All being well, that will consist of a decorous inquiry as to the sex and health of the Little Stranger, after which Mr. Clynes will hasten to London, there to acquaint Parliament with the tidings. This traditional task falls to the lot of the Home Secretary because, on all occasions, he is closely in touch with the Crown. There was a time when he was expected to be actually present at a Royal accouchement in order that no possibly doubt might be left in the minds of the people but. happily enough, this day is-long past. BARBARIC CUSTOM In the Courts of Europe there exist customs similar to that which has sent Mr. Clynes to Glamis. Probably the most bizarre method of acquainting the representatives of the people with the arrival of a Royal child is practised in Spain, where not only one but all the Ministers of his Majesty’s Government assemble near the scene of the “interesting event.” After it is over the Royal infant (or infante) is carried into the Ministerial waiting-room. It lies naked on a golden dish over which a rich cloth or shawl has been laid, and, after being the subject of general scrutiny and admiration, it is hurried to the waiting arms of its nurse. Needless to say, nothing so barbaric will take place at Glamis, hut it is worthy of note that if Princess Elizabeth is destined to be given a baby brother. Mr. Clynes will have the privilege of being one of the first to set eyes on a possible heir to the British Throne.