LAUGH IT OFF! -RULE 1 FOR DOMESTIC BUSS

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 726, 27 July 1929, Page 20

LAUGH IT OFF! -RULE 1 FOR DOMESTIC BUSS

A SENSE OF HUMOUR IS MOST VALUABLE ASSET IN SETTING OUT ON MATRIMONIAL VOYAGE .. . GIRLS NOW LOOKING FOR THE MEN WHO CAN SMILE . . .

IFTY years ago, or less, unmarried miss, when asked what quality was the most desirable in the man she might

marry, would answer, while blushes suffused her countenance at such forwardness on so delicate a subject: “Honesty or perhaps she might be more general and murmur: “The traits of a gentleman.’’ Today, although honesty and the traits of a gentleman still rank high, it is a quality quite without the orbit described by either of these constellations of virtue that the modern miss demands in her partner. Namely, a sense of humour. Not long ago 100 college girls were asked some important questions in a special questionnaire regarding the t.ypc3 of men they desired as husbands. GOOD LOOKS NOT ESSENTIAL Out of the 400 answers only 15 insisted on college graduates; only two demanded good looks. Five stipulated that he must be athletic; more than "00 included honesty, sincerity, education and culture in their requirements. AVealth and fame were entirely ignored, but the one quality almost universally in demand was a sense of liumour.

Evidently the t'.ventieth-ceptury miss agrees with the poet that “the man worth while is the man who can smile.”

It is a far cry from Dickens’s poor life-sapped Maggie, who declared that her man “wasn't as bad as he might be cause he alius looks pleasantly at things,” to the students of the ologies who are today demanding that the most important niche in the corridor of their lives be filled with one touched by the wand of Momus; but perhaps it all goes to prove what Kipling once dared to write down—that women are the same under the skin. That miss of half century ago, to whom honesty was the foremost requisite for a partner in the domestic harness, no doubt realised that a sense of humonr was a very pleasant thing to live beside, but she probably listed it among the graces, not an essential quality. Now it looks as though humour, like many material things that were considered luxuries in those days is considered a necessity to the present-day woman. For fifteen years Judge Reeves, of California, ba3 been an outstanding figure as a sort of “father confessor” for couples contemplating divorce. In fact, he insists on conferences with both parties before he bears and decides on divorce decrees. Stowed away in the pigeonholes of his desk at home are Piles of notes on some of the private “hearings.” Some day “if there is ever time," they will go into a book. “So they voted for a sense of humour first, did they?” he said. “Smart girls we have today. Yes, an admission of that sort not so long ago might have been misunderstood. One might have thought that a woman was demanding a sense of humour in her other half in order that she might be amused, for it wasn’t so long ago that, the term might have smacked a little of the clown. But the girl today

has learned the difference between sentiment and sentimentality, between modesty and prudishness, between a sense of humour and clownishness. MERITING WORLD'S ESTEEM “The girl of today wants her man to have a high sense of honour, so that he will merit the esteem of the world; she wants him to have a delicate sense of beauty and refinement, so that he will have entree into tlie inner circles of social life, and will prove stimulating as a companion; she wants him to have a business sense in order that she will not suffer for the material things of the world; but she demands that he possess a sense of humour because she realises that there is no more direct avenue to the highway of understanding and that tragedies may bp turned to comedies by one wave of that magic wand. “1 believe, and have repeatedly stated by word of mouth and in print, that more marriages go on the rocks because of a deficient sense of humour than for any other fundamental reason. It is true that lack of funds is a very poignant cause and that the modern method of housekeeping—l call it the paper-bag existence—contributes to divorce statistics, but in many instances a sense of humour iu one or both of the make-ups of the couples might have saved the wreck.

“I wish I could tell you how many times I have heard the complaint, ‘lie (or she) looks at life so seriously,* and they go on to relate how mountains have been made out of molehills because of the painful lack of humour in one of the parties. HOW MUCH HUMOUR?

“When I begin to listen to indiviual tales of woe concerning the shortcomings of a husband or wife, I invariably try first to ascertain how much or little is the sense of humour developed in the belligerent pair. When I realise, as is often the case, that it is almost entirely lacking in both, I feel that I. am attacking a hopeless sort of proposition in the reconciliation line. You see, a person without a sense ot humour is as a rule almost incapable of getting more than one angle on life. The shifting light and shade that the little god Momus casts for those who see through his eyes for them does not exist. Robert Louis Stevenson it was, I believe, who went so far as to say that a sense of humour was one of the essentials of a kind heart. I don’t know about that, but I do know that a good sense of humour acts exactly like a pair of good emergency brakes on your car.” But why. in the name of all that is proverbially feminine, had those college girls, en masse, ignored wealth or fame in their “gimme” list? Perhaps the wise Judge would know! He smiled when the question was put to him. “Hand it to the modern girl for subtlety! She was practicing a bit of it when she apparently neglected these two qualifications. Of course, she wants wealth and fame, but don’t

you think that when she asks for a sense of humour it is with the conviction that this quality will not only make companionship more understandable and delightful, but that as a rule wealth and fame come oftenest to men whose sense of humour is most keenly developed? Think of the men you know who have been successes, and think of those whom the world knows who have attained heights, and see if in most cases this does not hold true.” HARRY LAUDER’S GIFT Once, in speaking of Harry Lauder his wife said: —“His overflowing good spirits and keen sense of humour have wreathed every sordid situation in smiles.” Undoubtedly, this is the picture which was projected upon the questionnaires when those college girls wrote their ultimatum upon husbandly virtues. However, there seems to be some difference of opinion as to just how much of a shock-absorber to domestic journeys this much-mooted sense is. It would appear that a cartoonist, whose talents are prompted by a sensitive funny-bone in his anatomy who sees people, their actions and failings through the kindly light of humour, might be able to “laff off” any matrimonial tempests that might arise. But, apparently, this is not always the case. Charlie Chaplin can make a theatre rock with laughter and his sense of humour makes him a much-sought-after dinner guest, but it could not untie knotty domestic tangles in his two matrimonial ventures. While women have expressed themselves on more than one occasion In regard to the desirability of a sense of humour in a future mate, men have been strangely silent upon this quality in the gentler sex. Not long ago a Chicago bachelor club covered the whole gamut of womanly virtues in sizing up the ideal wife but nowhere, strangely enough, was a sense of humour mentioned. Proverbially, women are accredited with less of this saving grace than are men. Perhaps, realising this, they are seeking a counterbalance. “THEM THAT LACKS IT” If men assumed the attitude toward this sense that old Maggie did toward charm in “What Every Woman Knows” it might be different: "Thems that has it, has it, and them that lacks it can t git it.” But wUeie is there a man who does not think that he is endowed with a sense of humour? It has been said to be his one universal egotism.

There will be then very little despair iu masculine ranks at the recent ultimatum. A man who is not wealthy or handsome, or educated even, will take comfort ill the thought that some girl will fall in love with him because of his sense of humour.

And so they will all be eligible for affection —and that’s that!