From The Watch Tower

Sun (Auckland), Volume III, Issue 640, 17 April 1929, Page 8

From The Watch Tower

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

Hl,s THANKS Mr. Hugh McKenzie, opposed for his i seat oil the Harbour Board for the first j time for a number of years, opened liis j campaign last night by thanking his opponent, Mr. Ebenezer Allan, for standing. Toward his footman, yclept Ebcnezcr, He cherishes no rancid sentiment, Nor, ■metaphorically, “on the bcazer,’* Thrases him with derogatory intent. Disdaining objurgations by the gallon On pleasant old-world chivalry he banks, And first of all extends to Mr. Allan. The cordial approval of his thanks. No ingrate he, nor even slightly nervous. No premonition breeds unworthy fears. Yet if defeated, would Eb Allan’s service Engender joy still unalloyed with tearsf McSHOVEL. NEW PORTFOLIO During his visit to the North, the lion. P. A. de la Perrelle, who left for Whangarei this morning, will open the Whangarel Racing Club’s new pavilion. Opponents of racing will regard this as evidence that Mr. Perrelle is really Minister of Infernal Affairs. DUCKS “I know of ft case where a man goes out, every moonlight night and comes back with a duck,’ said a member of the Acclimatisation Society, in a discussion on poaching. And the L.O.M. knows a cricketer who has gone out every Saturday afternoon in the past summer and come back with it duck each time, so the position must he very serious indeed. HE PACKED There was a sound of revelry by night. This was due to the fact that a Government House ball was in progress. It recalled to the ancient pedestrian a happening at a Government House ball of many years ago. The gentleman mainly concerned was making his first bow at such a function. Unfortunately, he fell in with evil company before going to the ball, and on arrival in his car found the parking-place hard to find. He was directed to park round the hack, but succeeded only in making a circuit of the building and halting at the front door as before. This happened three times. Then he found the parkingplace, and promptly parked not only the car, but himself as well. He went to sleep, and arrived when the guests were departing. He has still to make his bow at Government House. i GENTS PANT Recent reference herein to the “Nobby,” “Natty,” etc., which appear sometimes in the windows of tailoring establishments, has evoked a discussion. A correspondent wants to know why “panting” is not more generally substituted for “trousering,” which is the term usually applied when mention is made of a gentleman’s unmentionables, and this despite the fact that the source, the verb “to trouser,” usually has an acquisitive significance. Suppose “Gents’ panting” were to become the vogue, this would have a certain definite meaning in the window of at least one loyal outfitters, whose premises face a moderately steep street. The correspondent also claims to have seen a piece of pinkish material, a hue much in favour lately, decorated with the term “Gents’ natural pants”: hut we have only his word for that. ,

“ WOODBINE WILLIE ” It is calculated that “Woodbine Willie” (the Rev. G. Studdert-Ken-nedy), the well-beloved war-time and peace-time padre who died recently in England, personally gave away 8,750,000 cigarettes to soldiers. One night in Flanders he interrupted a British wire-cutting party near the German trenches. “Who are you?” hissed a cutter. “The Church.” “What the Hell is the Church doing here?” “Its work.” SUCH IS FAME Great is tile fame of Edgar Wallace. Great the fame, too, of George Wallace, ye illustrious knight of St. James. Hence the two have been confused, as was once mentioned in this column. But the enduring character of Mr. Edgar Wallace’s reputation may be judged from the fact that a toiler whose task It is to keep track of celebrities, was asked if he had Edgar Wallace filed. “No,” he said, “our film stars are all out.” “But Edgar Wallace is not a film star.” “No? Then what is he?” The inquirer replied with another question: “Don’t you ever re a/ detective stories?” “I read nothing else.” “And you've never heard of Edgar Wallace?” “Never.” Next morning the outraged disciple of Wallace brought down an armful of the Master’s books, and handed them over for the enlightenment of his unfortunate friend.