FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 547, 27 December 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN"

THE CUP At Ellerslie, where lawns arc tended, And banners float. There in the rain my way I wended Toward the tote; But fate my simple plan up-ended. I lost my groat. I'd aimed to plant my last piastre On - Laughing Prince. Alack-a-day , there came Disaster, Some priceless quince Declared that Oratrix ran faster. Lord, how I wince. For this my bundle I invested On Oratrix. Which horse by seven more was bested, And yielded Nix. Such bitter pills are ill-digested „ Their flavour sticks. Of course, it isn’t easy sorting The shapely hacks, And more especially when cavorting On sloppy tracks. But how I wish I'd gone a-courting With Corinax. — ROCKEFELLER. THE CAR OF JUSTICE The visit of the Hon. T. M. Wilford, Minister in Charge of Police, revives the story of the Minister who, with a similar portfolio, was met at the station by the chief police officer of the district. Instructions to meet the Minister with the police car, and drive him to his hotgl, had been issued by the commissioner of the day. This was a very wheezy old car, and it racked the Ministerial joints so severely that the august visitor made comment. “I say, this isn’t much of a car you have here," h 6 said. And the sergeant replied: "No, that is probably why we were instructed to meet you with it." * * * SANGUINARY ! Those who go about the country lecturing are frequently placed in laughable positions. One lecturer, here in Auckland not many months ago, turned to address a rhetorical question to his chairman, and found the worthy gentleman asleep. A seasoned English lecturer tells of an experience at the famous prison, Wormwood Scrubs. He invited questions from his audience of prisoners, and the first question asked —it was put by a man with an Eton and Oxford education —was: "Can you tell my friends if it is true that the new Weir steel houses are really burglar-proof?" The same lecturer struck a chairman who, at the conclusion of his address, remarked that the speaker had “exceeded their most sanguinary expectations." DESERTED Her rambling light-love husband deserted her weeks ago. She does not know where he is gone,-but with brave maternal independence she cares for herself and the troublesome family. The people who pass her in the street sympathetically and marvel at her height of spirits. Each morning, with thoughts of life’s stern realities far from mind, she drowses in the sunshine, and even then manages to keep a wary eye on the children playing in the gutter. She lives without apparent effort, and her obvious contentment is the envy of wage-slaves who scurry past her every morning. . . Yes. The warehouse cat and her kittens know how to live without worrying. * *a; 'as at & a* sk *a?at at & & &::

gj .m as * aT& &sg as AT THE ZOO One place where Christmas does not seem to matter much, beyond an influx of sight-seers, is the Zoo. The extra number of sight-seers means more biscuits for the bears, and a few more peanuts for the receptive inhabitants of the monkey pit; but otherwise the holidays at this, time are t'ne same as any other. Not an animal in the place seems the least interested in Santa Claus. The lions and their neighbours,, the tigers and leopards, still share first honours for •attention. The elephant and hippopotami are doing a satisfactory business. and the polar bears are showing really excellent figures, though tile bears themselves are not particularly satisfied with the present season. It is far too hot. One serious lack at the Zoo, just now, is a reptile section. After a good holiday burst, it is so cheering for the dipsomaniac to be able to take a Grey Lynn car and check up on his latest lot of visions. The essentials of the Zoo are otherwise constant. A few new birds here and there supply a flash of new colour. Little boys still demand ring-side views of the hippopotamus. Little girls scream passionately when dragged away from the lions. There ought to be a suggestion box at the Zoo, though, and here is one suggestion—that the opossums and other furbearers be featured a bit. The owners of all those fur coats would be astonished to learn that the furs do not come made up in coat size, with collar and sleeves attached