Heart and Home Chats

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 530, 6 December 1928, Page 5

Heart and Home Chats

By

amme Redledge

•PROFESSIONAL CONFIDANTE”

l am sick and tired of hearing about other people’s troubles. Wherever l .seem to go people, f •' some reason or ether, just pour their affairs into my curs and await my sympathy and advice. If it isn’t about young Johnnie being down with ‘'’flu,” it concerns the maid who has gone, without giving her proper notice, or the husband who is too often late at his club, and the wife who has a mania for the bargaincounter habit! Now. this kind of thing is getting on my nerves, because I find it most diJTii ult to say the right thing without •putting my foot in it," or being too plain spoken altogether. My humble ambition is to keep my finger out of • ther people's “pies." Plow can I best acquire such a habit? MOLLIE L. ASS TVER. Well, in the .House of Life some of us are apparently born for decorative purposes, and are like pictures on the walls, or costly china: others are just plain floor rugs—to be walked upon—or electric radiators, throwing out warmth and comfort when chill winds blow and the grey, threatening clouds hang low on tlio liorison. Aren’t you glad that yours is something of a useful capacity? Believe me, what you should do is cultivate the habit of saying the right thing. You will become so popular that other people’s "pies" will be the only pies savoury enough for vou to sample. Put on your “coloured glasses" so that when you hear about Phyllis and Tony, her boy friend, breaking oft' the engagement, you can give Phyllis the sympathy she i® eager for without saying a word chat could possibly harm Tony. Then when they make it up again, you are their best friend. If the music is good and your dance partner is bad, commend rh« music. You will then ftnd that hearing about other people's troubles is not difficult, hut helpful and even enjoyable to all parties concerned. ANNE RUTLEDGE.

THE STRONG. SILENT MAN

Dear Miss Rutledge,— While away on a recent holiday I met a man who helped me to enjoy what may have been very lonesome hours I was very glad to have his companionship, although I must confess he whs really rather crude and illiterate. However, he taught me to ride as well as to swim, and I found his amazing physique and virile strength appealing to me in a somewhat primitive sense. Returning to the city. I found myself very much in love with him, yet I hesitate to tell my family, as I should be ashamed to introduce him to them. What shall I do? JANET. ANSWER. It seems to me that if you feel that nay about this acquaintance of yours, it is folly to waste your time thinking of being in love with him. I think perhaps the glorious solitude of the bush, the grandeur of towering mountain peaks bathed in subtle moonlight, may have had more to do with 3'our sentiments than you realise. Mere physical attraction is too slight an excuse with which to risk one's future happiness.

f ™V ow yourself into some hard work, j ♦u ■ * . some form of good recreation, so ! that your working and playing hours are 1 lull of interest and you haven’t time to think of any love affair that can cause you unhappiness. A man who is crude and illiterate is evidently likely to rub you up the wrong I way, and you may eventually come to look upon such an episode with distaste. It is possible that this man may have many sterling qualities, to which some polished persons may be strangers. Try to sum up the position in a purelv detached manner. To spend a lifetime with a person does not compare with just a holiday, and if you see flaws beforehand, you will most likely see them magnified a hundredfold after the knot is tied ANNE RUTLEDGE. ' COLLECTING MANIA Dear Miss Rutledge,— L wonder if you believe in the axiom i “keep a thing for seven years and it ! ; will servo a useful purpose?” I live with an elder sister who is a widow, 1 having a small home of her own and somewhat limited means. Consequently j she is afraid to throw anything away : that may possess a shred of usefulness j —a failing that may prove very j | Troublesome as time goes on. Recently my sister was asked to take a young niece in for a few weeks and, to my astonishment, refused on the grounds that there was no room to spare in the house. I went into this matter with my sister and pointed out that there was plenty of room to spare if she got rid of the collection of rubbish that she has been storing up for years. Old ! furniture is stacked in the spare room; clothes, many seasons behind the times, in the wardrobes; books and magazines, dating back several years, take up valuable space everywhere. These things will never be used by my sister, yet she persists that they will if she keeps them long enough. I should like to convince my sister that her judgment is wrong. Will you help me to do this? L.W. ANSWER . Your sister showed lack of character in refusing to accommodate her niece. Her excuse was weak and unwarranted, and you were wise to point out her mistake. Try to make her realise that there slvo many poor souls who might get much pleasure from old clothes, magazines and discarded pieces of furniture. How welcome that last year’s coat would be to an old lady too hard up to buy one **or the coming winter? Hanging in e attic, collecting germs and dust galore, • makes it only fit for the rubbish heap, i How that faded dance frock could be turned and re-made to bring a sparkle of joy to the eyes of a young girl who has no cash to purchase her own! If it hangs there in the wardrobe much longer, it will rot for lack of use. How the sad and suffering in the hospitals long for bright magazines! How the little mission across the way welcomes odd bits of furniture for the poor of the city! Tell your sister how much easier her home would be to keep clean if she made one big sweep of all the claptrap she has. It would, too, be 100 per cent. more hygienic if she never collected another thing. Most of us hang on to a lot of useless odds and ends and the time seldom comes when we really need them. But do we feel for those who do? Are we really anxious to gladden some sad heart? There is always the opportunity waiting if we ANXE RUTLEDGE.

WEDDING INVITATIONS

Dear Miss Rutledge, With regard to wedding invitations. How soon before the wedding should these be sent? KATHLEEN AXSWEE. Hot later than 14 days, and not earlier than four weeks before the date set for the marriage ceremony. ANXE RUTLEDGE.

Miss Anne Rutledge will answer letters in this column every Thursday. A n accomplished writer, an ardent feminist, a student of human nature and a wide traveller, ehe is well fitted for the task. Those teko have problems and lack a confidante to help in their solution mag, confidence, write to Miss Rutledge, whose knowledge will bo placed ct their disposal. A sympathetic woman, she will assist those who stand in need of assistance. Comm unications for Miss Rutledge should be addressed to THE SITS office.