TOPICAL TIT-BITS

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 382, 16 June 1928, Page 22

TOPICAL TIT-BITS

Search for landing places occupies pedestrians and aviators alike.—Tail Sireet Jo sraaL” * • • One theory is that after paying the expenses cf delegates to an the conferences, the nations won't be able to more any first-class wars.—" San D/iego Ifni on.” * • ♦ Mussolini has barred hand-shaking In Italy, which :s a pretry good sign he doesn't think it will ever be necessary to run for office. —“New York Evening Post.” The curious thing about that Hindu who kept his hands in the air for twenty” years is that he lived in Benares, India, instead of Chicago.— Western (Ore.) Leader.” On the whole, it's wiser not to start making a pal of the boy til after the boy finishes with periphrastic Latin conjunctions and quadratic algebraic equations.— Arkansas Gazette.

Roped and Branded.—“Tbook here, you're cheating.” “No, Fm not. I had that ace long before the game began.” Murder Will Out.—She: “Where in the world did you get that horrible necktie?” He: "The laugh’s on you. You gave it to me last Christmas.” Call Fido.—Diner (finally): 'Anyhow. waiter, I won't eat such food* You'd better fetch the manager.” Waiter: “That’s no good, sir. He wouldn’t eat it!” Touch System.—Kind Old Lady (to little boy): “And what are you going to do when you grow up. my little Urchin: Foller in me father's fin-ger-prints.” Doing Her Stuff.—The busy theatrical manager had not expected a caller so late in the day, yet he called “Come in!'’ in answer to the rap on the door. “Tell,” he said to the poorly dressed woman standing there, “what do you do—dance, sing or what? Fm busy. Let’s hear you sing first.” The woman looked embarrassed and made a very poor attempt to sing the first few lines of “Annie Laurie.” “Rotten!” said the manager. “You can’t sing at all!” *T know that,” said the woman meekly, “and if you are about through FI! start scrubbin’ the floor. That’s what I’m here for.”