FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 167, 5 October 1927, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN

THE SELF-RESPECTING PLUMBER Mr. Justice Frazer declared in. the Arbitration Court that no self-respect-ing plumber would ever condescend to carry his own kit of tools, that lie must always have an apprentice to carry them to and from a job for him. Ip this statement he was supported by an apprentice who was giving denceThe -plumber is a gentleman; he climbs upon your roof, And ev’ry hour he sits thereon diminishes your “oof.” He solders up each little hole, and then he makes another, For ev'ry hole xipon a roof must have a little brother. The plumber sits and solders, and he hums a cheerful lay, For once he gets upon your roof, he’s there for all the day. The charges that the plumber makes will cause you grief and pain — He charges up for ev’ry hole, then doubles it again. No self-respecting plumber could his own fair hands employ In carrying his kit of tools, so he employs a boy, And for this skilled assistance in the matter of his kit You will find that to his charges he has added quite a bit. The plumber is a cheerful chap—the cheeriest you could gets Without him you’d be perplexed as to how keep out the wet. You watch with awe as he prepares, your leaky roof to mount — Then you rush to raise a mortgage for to pay his “small account.” * V * TOUCH-AND-GO Some of our tram conductors, rid of the worry of bus competition, have now time for little games. One of these is touch-and-go—as soon as an intending passenger touches the footboard, conductor touches the bell. Then the tram goes, with or without the passenger, it all depending upon the said passenger’s agility. This is quite enjoyable for all concerned, excepting when the passengers are portly gentlemen whose athletic days have Jong been left behind—in which case they are left behind—or elderly ladies or those with children. Very recently a conductor on the Great South Road run played this entertaining little game with women and children twice on the run to town, no one being killed. ALL-NIGHT DISPENSARIES It seems not to have occurred to the pharmaceutical fraternity that Auckland has grown to such a size that there are now quite a few more people in it than was the case 20 years ago. The point pressed by a visitor to the Watch Tower is that there was an all-night dispensary, or pharmacy, in Auckland 20 years ago, and that there is still only one. He wants to know how fare the people who take suddenly ill at Onehunga, Papatoetoe, Point Chevalier and Herne Bay (to mention only some of the farther suburbs) when medicines are ordered for immediate use during the night, seeing that the one and only all-night pharmacy is situated at the top of Khyber Pass Road. The answer, of course, is that the working people of the far suburbs should own their own motor-cars. If the Health Department, the hospital authorities, the 8.M.A., the friendly societies, whose charges have become most unfriendly, by the way, or Mr. Harold Schmidt can furnish another, let it be forthcoming! & Hi re aos- % x & x x

Hi ic Hi 7C. ~'r Hr ic Hr tit Hi Hr Hr Hr r.‘- rit “I'LL PULL YOUR NOSE.”’ Some Premiers, at all events, cannot be accused of a want of frankness. Mr. McCormack, of Queensland, is one who does not wrap his words in the product of the silkworm. Asked in the Legislative Assembly whether he had taken any share in floating a company in which there were Russian interests, he told the interrogative member that his implication was “dirty and scurvy,” adding, “I will pull your nose!” Then he remarked that the member was a liar —not a mere Parliamentary prevaricator or an utterer of terminological inexactitudes, but a plain liar. The Premier had to withdraw, under the direction of the Speaker, but he immediately told his honourable legislative brother that he as “a dirty scavenger,” and threatened to walk across the floor of the House and “deal with him.” This sort of thing makes Parliamentary reporting a delightful occupation; but, alas! it is far too rare, and we seldom have anything like it in New Zealand. On one occasion, however, a Minister told a member that he feared the honourable member was quite unconsciously making a slight departure from the strict path of veracity. Mr. Speaker had a fainting fit, but before the astounded Sergeant-at-Arms could comprehend that here at last was an ejectment to make, the offending Minister had realised the gravity of his allegation and unreservedly withdrawn it.