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Samoa Times and South Sea Gazette, Issue 35, 1 June 1878, Page 4

Sympathetic sister : " What ia the matter, Julia ? You look as sorrowful as a sick lapilofr!" Julia: "Oh, don't perplex me, that's a dear. My grief is too great for utterance. I've hud such an awful vision. I dreamed that Rosa Smith had got a new silk dress I" Tho liebe Bonnet,—Fashionable customer : "Hut it makes me look so innocent!" Fashionable Milliner : " Oh, no ! indeed, madam ! Anything but that!" Fashionable Customer : " Are you sure, now ?" Fashionable Milliner: " Quite sure, madam I" Fashionable Customer: " Then you may send it me !"

There are eight different kisses mentioned in the Scripture, but for good, solid comfort, the New York critics think there is nothing equal to one of Anna Dickinson's stage kiases. An old woman who in crossing the street had a narrow escape from bein» run over by a hearse. "I am not at all superstitious," she says to her rescuer, but it had seemed to me that it would be unlucky to be killed by a hearse." A grocer being solicited to contribute to-the building of a church, promptly subscribed his name to the paper in the following manner:—" John Jones (the only place in town where you can get eleven pounds of sugar for a dollar), twenty-five cents."—American Paper. They wcro sitting together, and he was arduously thinking what to say, when finally he burst out in this manner:— " In this land of noble achievement and undying glory, why is it that women do not come more to the front and clirnb the ladder of fame ?" " I suppose," said she —tying knots in her handkerchief—" it's on account of their fullbacks."

A Logical Lail.—Charlie—" I say, ma. what relution is Clara to uh ?" Mrs Blooblud : "Claraf Oh, Clara is my maid, dear I" Charlie : " Oh, because you said ono ought ohly to kiss ono's relations, and brother Tom was kissing her like mad on tho stairs just now I"—Fun. Not a Bad Judge.—A few days since a man convicted of drunkenness stood up before bis worship at the police court, and the latter, in his slow, .solium way said, ''l'll give you forty shillings or a month." "Well, I'll talie the hv<> ,ovs your worship," replied the fellow, with a grin, lie got u month.