PLEASANT PEOPLE
(From the Saturday Review.) The nun who can be characterised as pleasant in the full ideal sense of the word is born, not made. It is true that the epithet comes in in every definition of social excellence. A perfect gentleman is pleasant, the perfect Christian is pleasant, the genial companion is pleasant, und so on. Good temper, good nature, sociableness, and the like, make people pleasant; but all this is distinct from that particular felicity and benignity of nature through which some people please universally ; so that, by general consent, men of all tastes and conditions fall upon the same epithet as a comprehensive satisfying definition. Before all things the pleasant man is not hampered by_vanity and love of display, any more than by nervous fear and bashfulness. He probably sees himself and everything about him at its best; but this is only due to the construction of his moral vision, which we hold to be an essential of the character, seeing everything, and more especially everybody, under a certain illumination. One of the charms of the pleasant person is that he makes all who come in his way satisfied, and in better humour with themselves and their place in the world than it is their habit to be, either under their own review or in what they gather to bo the judgment of people in general; or, if they have already formed a complacent estimate of their merits and standing, they find thomselvcs taken at it ungrudgingly and as a matter of course. This is a totally different thing from flattery, which can scarcely be applied without exciting some misgiving in the person flattered. There is nothing indulgent or patronising in the pleasant person's tacit approval and appreciation. He takes all people at their best from no effort of charity, but from instinctive sympathy, making things bright to others by seeing them so. For the pleasant person is largely sympathetic up to a point. It is not necessary, perhaps is not common, that ho should penetrate into depth of character. His penotration occupies itself on what ho has to deal with. He does not assume that he sees the whole, and does not take people in hand beyond what they care to shew themselves, either for their pleasure or their good. He does not force confidences; he acts on what he tees, and his nature makes his judgment a favourable one.
Clearly moderation ia one important quality in the pleasant man. A great many people are not only excellent, but admirable and lovable, who yet do not come to our minds as pleasant, from the vehemence of their manner of holding opinions—a vehemence which does not allow them to discriminate time and place with judgment, which drives them to obtrude opinions, to pursue a topic when others would gladly dismiss it, and which further leads them to convey sentiments with a severity implied towards those who differ that jars on the harmony or the assembly. Wo are not saying that vehemence carried to this point is not sometimes called for; we only say it is not pleasant on occasions of social intercourse. Now tho pleasant man never lets things and views make him forget persons. In times of excitement, political or religious, when party spirit runs high, the pleasant person is a refuge. He is never carried away ; so little so, that tho chances are that he irritates the more eager partisan. But it is his nature to give everyone with whom he willingly associates credit for good motives and for some sense in carrying them into action; and this interferes much with the luxury of party warfaro. However, the whirlgig of time brings everyone and all sides to the pleasant man at last for consolation or rejwse. He does not lose his friends ; nobody can afford to lose him. No literary reputation, no gift of eloquence, no ready wit, no experience of iino company is needed to endow a person with this quality in its fullest sense. It is a charm in itself, a gift of nature, needing only ordinary good breeding and ordinary common aonse to set it off. It is an attraction which draws by its inherent winning quality. Thero are Wonion who do not shine or talk much, who are nut accomplished, not distinguished in any way, not beautiful, not young, who do not know why people gather round them, why they hasten, to tell them good news before others with.A.moro definite claim, why they look forward to their fireside as a rest, why they think of them first if they have a confidence to communicate, a dilemma or tangled perplexity to unfold. It is because they are pleasant, because they arc sure to look interested, sure not to interpose their own affairs at the wrong moment; sure, above all, to take the side you want them to take, to see thinm in the light in which they aro expected to soo them, or at least to show a willingness to do so ; sure, too, to infuso a certain comfortableness into the view of things, to act at once as a stimulus and a rest.
• Nobody is pleasant in this characteristic wmse, as a prominent trait, who is not happiest and most himself in exercising hia gift rather than in tho exhibition of wore commanding or more Bhowy qualities. But he is pleasant without consciousness of porsonal performance. In parting with friend or acquaintance he does not aak himself, What did he think of mo f what impression did I make upon him ? Not that thcro is any harm in .such innor questions if thore has been an effort to talk well, to do oneself justice, to be oqualt to an occasion, to respond to noma call upon the powers. The pleasant person, acting in his function, is always leaving to others tho bwtaoM of thfjgJog
and making a figure. Hi assumes a second place, makes way, yields, listens, or, if be shines, it is to please, not to make a display ; it is the response of sympathy to the call of the hour. But, after all, the native genius in this line is not to he described ; he has a way with him that is incommunicable. \Vo may indeed. analyse ; he is this or that; he is free from these and thoee defects. He is recognised when we see him.
Permanent link to this item
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/STSSG18780525.2.9
Bibliographic details
Samoa Times and South Sea Gazette, Issue 34, 25 May 1878, Page 3
Word Count
1,069PLEASANT PEOPLE Samoa Times and South Sea Gazette, Issue 34, 25 May 1878, Page 3
Using This Item
No known copyright (New Zealand)
To the best of the National Library of New Zealand’s knowledge, under New Zealand law, there is no copyright in this item in New Zealand.
You can copy this item, share it, and post it on a blog or website. It can be modified, remixed and built upon. It can be used commercially. If reproducing this item, it is helpful to include the source.
For further information please refer to the Copyright guide.