Cabbages and Kings

Stratford Evening Post, Volume I, Issue 56, 13 February 1931, Page 4

Cabbages and Kings

By TATLER

Mr. MacFoozle has had a great blow —in fact, he has lost his life savings. He had saved five hundred when the coupon company went, into liquidation, and his securities are just so much waste paper. 0 * * It's an 111 Wind ' <. A scientist says that some day our ears will disappear altogether.—Good news for small boys. :.: * * Chronic Raw steak is a good thing for a black eye. Archie says he wishes he could remove the impression of the cook at his boardinghouse that he suffers from a chrome black eye. * * <■■ .. . A Self-starter At a party you can usually find a girl who is prepared to get up and sing like a squeaking doll. And she doesn't have to be pressed, either. * * * tM

Reports We Never Read "Yes," said the murdered man's widow to the reporter who approach-' ed her after the tragedy, "his violent death did come as a shock. However, it was just as well it was him and not me." "I suppose you were deeply attached to him?" queried the reporter. "Oh, yes," she replied, between sobs, as she removed her false teeth and put them into her stocking. "I often took him by the hair when he was drunk and he took me by mine. We would be so attached that the neighbours would have to separate us. This evening 1 hit him on the head with the rolling-pin and as he fell and breathed his last he murmured, "You cow." Then his lifeblood ebbed away. That's it there. Don't stand on it, because you might carry it into the passage on your feet, and the passage has just been scrubbed.

The Reason Why ' I read in a certain paper that a certain Napier- man was not injured in the earthquake because he was out of Napier on holiday, and had not returned. Just hke the lady who used to wheel a baby across a certain street at the same time every day, just when a man of regular habits used to drive past. One day there would have been a terrible' ac* ident and. jtne lady would have been killed only she had influenza and. couldn't take her walk, while the man was unable to drive past furiously because he took another road.