BETTER LEFT UNSAID.

Stratford Evening Post, Volume XXXIV, Issue 60, 4 November 1912, Page 7

BETTER LEFT UNSAID.

“Things better left unsaid,” according to a collector in the “English Illustrated,” are chiefly those that, like curses, conic disagreeably home to the gayer. A politician, interrupted in his speech by a hostile listener, was unwise in asking sarcastically, “who brayed there?” “No one,” came hack the prompt retort, “It was only an echo.” And another much-heckled orator was unlucky with his expostulation with, the crowd—“lt is no use my talking any more; every time J open my month, a silly fool speaks.” A candidate more famous for his interest in sport than in his intellectual qualities, was put to the test by a schoolmaster amongst his audience, who sent up a question asking his opinion of the Decalogue. The puzzled candidate turned to a friend on the platform, who, either from equal ignorance, or as a joke, replied, “it is a flogging in the Army.’' On which, with a mighty sense of rectitude, the speaker assured the enquirer, “I would, if elected, certainly do away with the Decalogue at once!” Andrew Carnegie told a story of the self-made man visiting a nephew at school, and enquiring what were his studies. “Latin and* Greek,” said the hoy, “and German and Algebra.” “Dear me!” said the self-made man, “and what is the Algebra for turnips?” And “Capital,” a Calcutta weekly, recently had the good tale of the officer who charged his man with “Bigotry, your worship. He’s got three wives.” “Officer,” replied the newly-made Magistrate, “What is the use of all thin education, all these evening schools, all the technical classes, an’ what not? Please remember, in any future like ease, that a man who has married three wives has not committed bigotry, but trigonometry.” Another justice was rebuking a farmer for ill-treating a poor half-witted farm hand. Yon should remember,” ho said severely, “that idots, after all, j are men like yon and me.” Churches supply some odd announcements, such as that which stated, “On Sunday next the Rev. So-and-So will preach, after which the church will ho closed three weeks for repairs.” And a good man who preached at a floral harvest-thanksgiving on “Flowers ns n cure for worry, wus really too prophetic when he said, “We are told that more people die from worry than from anything else, and yet they still go on worrying!” The chairman of an agricultural committee had no offensive intention when he observed, “Several exhibitors figure in'our list of donkeys, of which a fair number of fine specimens are, to be seen this year.” But very carelul on natural history points was the mi-s-t tress of a log-hut in the wilds of Canada, wheneffa; travelling, bishop stopped’ to restt “Are there any Episcopalians about here?” he asked. And she hesitated!'' “Well,‘fesr, I hardly know. The men did kill something, in the-barn, but: whether, it was one of them things or not I cannot saj.