THE GERMAN NAVY AT WAR.

Stratford Evening Post, Volume XXXI, Issue 73, 9 November 1911, Page 2

THE GERMAN NAVY AT WAR.

COUNT’S REMARKABLE BOOK. MAGNIFICENT VICTORIES. ■v Within recent years quite a number of books have appeared in England dealing with tlie problems of what would happen were we at war with a European nation. Needless to say, they always ended happily, England, after various vicissitudes, triumphed, bands played “God Save the King,” and a huge war indemnity permitted of an immediate decrease of the income tax. Hence it was with considerable curiosity tinged with some awe, that I approached' the subject from the other side (says a writer in “M.A.P.”). The Germans have such a reputation for method and precision that I feared a “phantasy” upon German’s licet in action” might prove uncommonly dull, though uo doubt instructive, while the fact that it was penned by one Count .Bernstorff, “Korvetten Kapitan” of the Imperial German Navy, gave me the , impression that the work would bristle with dozens of impossible technical _ terms, which would involve many tiresome journeys to a dictionary.

As a matter of fact, quite the reverse turned out to be the case, and I never remember reading a book which caused me quite so much genuine amusement. Had 1 noticed, in the first instance, when looking at the name of the author, that he was a retired officer, I might have known what was coming. Retired naval and military officers, quite irrespective of nationality, have a way of bursting into print many years after they have lelt their services, and the result is sometimes pathetic and sometimes uncommonly humorous. The Three Objects.

But to return to my friend, Count Bernstorff. In a most admirable proface he states that the objects of his book are three:—

(1) 'To make his countrymen, understand the immense importance to them of having a sufficiency of cruisers to protect securely Germany’s oversea commerce and her trade routes.

(2) To show the futility of not constructing all warships along the most approved lines of their respective classes: in technical language, to emphasise the necessity of homogenity of type ; and (3) That Germany should be prepared to stand alone, and should place no faith in entangling alliances hlliances.

So far so good, and then the Count proceeds to demonstrate the correctness of his dogmas by plunging his country into a war with a sea power, the name of which is not given, but which is clearly meant to be dear old England. And, goodness gracious me, what a poor show we do make! and, incidentally, I had no idea that our sailors were—to phrase it mildly—so uncommonly simple-minded. Let me relate an incident which will explain what I mean. A Farcical Account. Two of our cruisers are guarding the Straits of Gibraltar, the Venus and the Mars, to be exact, though, to be still more exact,-I may perhaps point out to the distinguished author that the latter is m 'battleship. However, small points like that pale into insignificance besidei whnt is to comb. 1 They get out of touch with each other, land the captain of the Venus becomes nervous. Apparently he forgets that he has wireless, but, i be that as it I may, lie doubles his look-outs, and threatens to punish them unless they find the Mars! Which, as Euclid says, is impossible. .What they.,do, find, however, is a. small boat, with an officer and two sailors, who are hauled on board, the officer ashen pale and his knees shaking with terror. And a very u curious story they have ,to. tell. . It lappears that while the Mars was steaming along, the 100k T put man reported a dark patch in the water rightUihead. Immediately thg, crew became intensely interested in the question of what it couldi posibly he, popular opinion being divided between a porpoise—or a school of them—and a whale. As it all happens in the month of August, I wonder someone didn’t suggest a gigantic. submerged gooseberry or a sea-serpent. Then came the awakening. No one had thought of a submarine—which it was, and an enemy’s submarine at that—and about four minutes later the water is strewn with wreckage, the air is thick with a hideous yellow haze, and the waves are red with blood. Which is all very unfortunate for the Mars! Poor, unsophisticated sailor men! Of course, they never for one moment suspected such a thing as a submarine, and the spectacle of them all crowding for’ard, each shouting his opinion of that dark splotch, must have been most amusing. Shades of Prince Louis—What an extraordinary conception the Count has of British discipline and the British sailor! But this naivete runs consistently throughout the volume, and no amount of excellent pictures and, in parts, interesting letterpress can cure this fundamental error. Hard To Swallow. There is another description of how a great dry dock at one of the enemy’s chief mercantile ports was irremediably damaged, and, again, no one appears to have thought of the possibility of attack, though the war was at its height. No! The workmen tramp down cheerily to their day’s work, launches flit about up and down the harbour, and then suddenly an explosion! Scared people ask one another, “What is that?” and, when they hear that about a million pounds’ worth of damage has been done to the dry clock, they only say, “Who could have done such a tiling?” I honestly almost expected to see as reply: “Why, Ben Tillett, of course. It’s only another of his little ways of showing his disapproval of the dock hoard’s, treatment of their men.” And so the war goes on, and England is steadily hammered into a pancake. Finally, there is a tremendous fleet action off Heligoland, and the might of England’s navy passes for ever. Then the fun begins, “in the capital of the country at war with Germany.” 1 like that way of phrasing it, it’s so delicate, and this time—poor old Loudon! There are riots in the streets, the houses of the Ministers ire wrecked, and the troops are called out to quell the disturbances at the point of the bayonet. There is a “scene” in, what is meant to ho, the House of Commons. The Prime Minister is called a great number of very uncomplimentary names by enraged members of all parties and his explanation that France had not come to our assistance, owing to a misunderstanding, is received with yells of execration. Aii’a Wcl; that Ends Well. Then comes the turn of the First Lord of the Admiralty. My word hut lie does catch it! Dozens of voices shout, “An die Laterno mit ihni,” or in vernacular English, “Hang him off a lamp-post,” and they very nearly do so. The question llien arises, “What is to lie done?” and the answer is both ingenious and ingenuous “Why make an alliance with Gor-

many.” The public demand it, the papers demand it, and apparently the Germans demand it and a bloodthirsty war is brought to a conclusion witu scones of joy because former enemies have become close friends. ' As I have already said, retired officers, who have lots of time on their hands, and find it difficult to pass, often hurst into print, and there is really no reason why they shouldn t. Most distinctly they add to the gaiety of nations, and Count Bernstorff has proved himself no exception to the rule.

A visitor to Palmerston North, who recently returned from the Christchurch races, appears to have sufieiod even more than the usual run of hard luck. He lost the greater portion of Ids money at the races, and then lost his pocket-book containing the balance * on the train between Palmerston North and Wellington. In 1907 a number of Australians who were stranded iu South Africa when evil times fell on that country following the war were assisted to return to their States through the agency of the Commonwealth authorities. Their passages were paid on the understanding that they would do their best to repay the debt. _ Iho Director of tho Labour Bureau in Ins last monthly report to the Government gives a shining example ot thrift and perserverance exhibited by one of those wh) • ere repatriate 1. The man lie said, had just finished paying his indebtedness to the department. He obtained work shortly after his arrival. He had kept his wile and foui children, and had acquired a threeroomed cottage and two acres oi ground, besides paying to the Government close on £22. “This,” said tho director, “is a marked and worthy contrast to most of those who received similar assistance.