Shaun's Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21852, 1 November 1932, Page 6

Shaun's Patch

A little boqmdm now an<3 then la reliebed by the vUcat men. —Hudlbra*. L - 111

One of the remarkable things about the Ottawa Conference is that everybody seems to be absolutely sure everybody gave away too much. Discretion is that special quality in you which enables you to excuse not doing what you don’t want to do. The ex-Kaiser says he never wanted the war, but was bullied into it by his sons. They evidently believed in parental control. * * * « It looks as if the Kaiser was hustled into the war and hustled out of it again. * » * » EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence containing the word “Mendoza”: “Let the Mendoza while.” Headings yesterday said: EUROPE’S FINEST ROAD. LEADING FROM ROME. That seems to reverse the old idea that all roads led in the other direction. • • * « If Ireland ever becomes independent, she will miss a great deal of fun in having no chance to fight England, unless, of course, it will be over a grudge because England agreed to give her independence. *. • * * When business is looking up it has an appeal in its eyes. Though trying hard the modern ma Discovers that she often fails To make the modern child believe •The most convincing fairy tales. But father has his troubles, too, In dodging much domestic strife— He finds with fairy tales it’s now Much harder to convince the wife. It is promised that the infra-red rays will make it easier for us to communicate with the planets. I wonder if they’ll have the apparatus ready in time to inform Jupiter about the result of the Tests. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ Someone has said that school children really do not need an annual vacation. Sounds like parents. I have culled this musical item: Said a lady who warbled in mezzo, “Oh dear, I’m beginning to frezzol My runs and my trills Should pay all my bills And they would if I wasn’t in dezzo.” *. * * * What are the most interesting vowels? I, O, U, of course. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ We have always been sure that there is plenty of room at the top, but this seems to apply to the bottom, as well. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ Where is the inventor who can provide the nation with a self-balancing budget? * * * * Breathing is said to be important to singers, but there are some singers who should dispense with it altogether. In the old days people used to be satisfied if they got taxation with representation, but nowadays most people are convinced that representation merely makes taxation much worse. » * * » A kindly soul has sent in these moving lines to be published so that editors may read ’em: The editor stood at the pearly gate, His face was worn and old; He meekly asked of the man of fatg Admission to the fold. “What have you done?”JSt. Peter asked, “To seek admission Here?” “Oh, I ran a country printing plant On earth for many a year.” The gate swung open sharply As Peter touched the bell. “Come in,” he said, “and take a harp; You’ve had, enough of—er—trouble.”