Shaun's Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21823, 28 September 1932, Page 8

Shaun's Patch

A little nonieiiM now ud then la railihed i>r the irleoet men. —Hudibrae.

Mr de Valera’s speech at the Assembly of the League of Nations ended in silence. As he finished in Gaelic that may not be surprising. ■•* * * Paraguay For peace will try; Bolivia Won’t chivy her. • * * * Hitler prophesies von . Papon’s collapse, and reproves Herriot for insolence. Hitler must be the world’s best optimist to-day. * EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence containing the word “courtier:” “Was he courtier or there?” Mr Kevin O’Higgins says: Moreover the White Army is going to call things by their proper names. Cowards will be called cowards and blackguards blackguards. This means that the proper names will be considered highly improper by some people. THE INNOCENTS. She thought kidnapping meant peace in the home. The fact that some of the members of the League of Nations have not paid their subs, is not surprising. Many sports bodies in New Zealand have a similar experience. * » ♦ * AT THE BATHS. Following is the first-hand account of a recent incident at the Municipal Baths, recorded for the benefit of future historians: A young fellow arrived at the Baths to have a private plunge Bath about a month ago and seeing the swimming pool as he was passing said: “Next time I come in I think I’ll have a swim.” I said: “Yes, Tm sure you would enjoy it.” Last week, this young country fellow arrived and said he had come for his swim, so he was given the necessary costume, towel and slips. It dawned on me that he was taking rather a long time in getting changed, so I said to him, “Don’t forget to have your shower before going into the water.” At this remark he opened the door of his box, and standing in his bathing suit and holding the pair of slips up, asked me where these went on, so I informed him by gesture “around him.” As he took some time in' making his appearance, I sang out and said that if he was finding any difficulty in putting on the slips I would perhaps be able to help him. At this he came out of his box, and this is how he appeared: The part of the slips that one leg goes into was around his waist and the slips went up the front and back to be tied on the shoulders, so that the whole thing looked like a chest protector. Having fastened one pair of tapes the young fellow was making a gallant effort to get the others fastened over his other shoulder, and greeted me with this remark: “My word, these are mighty hard things to get into.” It was some job to take the slips off again and put them on correctly, so that he must have emptied his lungs some to get into the predicament I discovered him to be in. Slips over again! * » * ♦ An American authority has explained it all. He says the world is suffering from occupational obsolescence i complicated by technological surplusage. I had suspected that for some time, but I couldn’t put it into simple words. * * * * The minister was very much perturbed when he saw the somnambulist walk out of the church in the middle of his sermon.

SAVING TIME. Men with lofty bulbous brows Sit apart and wrack their brains To find new ways for milking cows And how to speed up rushing trains. Everything that man has made Or found to minister his need, Is bettered—tractor plough from spade— To fit into the scheme of speed.

Man who walked to work must ride Those who coached now use a train, And those whom motor cars supplied, Now find they need an aeroplane Rush and bustle, all in haste. Education, Love and Art Speeded up, no thought of waste, Or influence on bile and heart.

Labour saving, saving time Making longer hours of leisure, Cutting down the work and grime Enlarging periods of pleasure; But though we’ve lightened all our toil Speeded growth and travel, too We find our happiness we spoil Because we get no work to do.