Shaun's Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21331, 27 February 1931, Page 8

Shaun's Patch

A llttl* aoaxaM »«« Mi la relUkKl t>y tka »!»•< muu -HeiibrM.

You notice how hard the Scots fight free speech.

It was also a Scots dentist who refused to treat a tooth. . . . « . . * *

After seeing a slow’ motion picture of diving champions, I realise how magnificent would be a slow motion picture of a chess championship. - * *

EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence containing the word “jazz”: “Jazz a song at twilight.” *** ■ * ■

THE INNOCENTS. She thought a corpulent could be promoted to sergeant.

It is rather disheartening to the amorous young man to discover that the modern girl keeps an engagement book.

You can remember some man when he hadn’t a cent to his name; but can you remember any woman when she hadn’t any scent for her handkerchief ?

When you go forth on your holiday, North for the leisure and sun, Think how you’ll return With the stories Of how to your plan it has run.

What matter reports of the weather, What matter the absence of tan? You’ll talk of the unbroken sunshine And lie of it all like a man.

I’d like to meet that efficient business man who when suffering from insomnia took his adding machine to bed to help him count the sheep crossing a fence.

Some men play golf for the love of the game, some for spite. 1931 SIMILES. He was as welcome •as a salary cut. Mr Scullin expected a lead from the banks and was disappointed at not getting it; he did not expect a lead from Mr Lang and he was disappointed at getting it. It is hard to be satisfied these times. * * * * A Frenchman has /shown that there is little differhece between the paintings by ultra-modern artists and those by lunatics. Really, this does not suggest anything new. I have held that view for many years. If any lunatics should sculpt, I w’ould undoubtedly think of Epstein. * * *' * ’ Sometimes a man has such a modest account in the bank that he’s shy. MODERN PROVERBS. * People who live in glass houses should not. . Little Bow’ Peep Has lost her sleep. ' . .. The answer, to the. riddle, Is the neighbouring cheap Said: “Little bow peep,” , And drew it oe’r the fiddle. *** ' * . The man who memorises . something has it in a nutshell. * . * ' * * Mrs Spratt was very fat, But wanted to be lean; For months and months she hardly ate More than a daily bean. And when she got to fist 10, It shattered all her nerves To read among the fashion points That modern mode was curves.

So back to cream and sugar’d cake! She went with might and main, And murmured: “It is good to see Old fashions round again.”